American fiction -- 19th century; Short stories, American
"Yes, for I should next find you simply brought to self-consciousness.
You'll be exactly what you are, I charitably admit--nothing more or
less, nothing different. But you'll be it all in a different way. We
live in an age of prodigious machinery, all organised to a single end.
That end is publicity--a publicity as ferocious as the appetite of a
cannibal. The thing therefore is not to have any illusions--fondly to
flatter yourself in a muddled moment that the cannibal will spare you.
He spares nobody. He spares nothing. It will be all right. You'll have a
lovely time. You'll be only just a public character--blown about the
world 'for all you're worth,' and proclaimed 'for all you're worth' on
the house-tops. It will be for THAT, mind, I quite recognise--because
Addie is superior--as well as for all you aren't. So good-bye."
He remained however till the next day, and noted at intervals the
different stages of their friend's journey; the hour, this time, she
would really have started, the hour she'd reach Dover, the hour she'd
get to town, where she'd alight at Mrs. Dunn's. Perhaps she'd bring Mrs.
Dunn, for Mrs. Dunn would swell the chorus. At the last, on the morrow,
as if in anticipation of this stillness settled between them: he became
as silent as his hostess. But before he went she brought out shyly and
anxiously, as an appeal, the question that for hours had clearly been
giving her thought. "Do you meet her then to-night in London?"
"Dear no. In what position am I, alas! to do that? When can I EVER meet
her again?" He had turned it all over. "If I could meet Addie after
this, you know, I could meet YOU. And if I do meet Addie," he lucidly
pursued, "what will happen by the same stroke is that I SHALL meet you.
And that's just what I've explained to you I dread."
"You mean she and I will be inseparable?"
He hesitated. "I mean she'll tell me all about you. I can hear her and
her ravings now."
She gave again--and it was infinitely sad--her little whinnying laugh.
"Oh but if what you say is true you'll know."
"Ah but Addie won't! Won't, I mean, know that _I_ know--or at least
won't believe it. Won't believe that any one knows. Such," he added with
a strange smothered sigh, "is Addie. Do you know," he wound up, "that
what, after all, has most definitely happened is that you've made me see
her as I've never done before?"
She blinked and gasped, she wondered and despaired. "Oh no, it will be
YOU. I've had nothing to do with it. Everything's all you!"
But for all it mattered now! "You'll see," he said, "that she's
charming. I shall go for to-night to Oxford. I shall almost cross her on
the way."
"Then if she's charming what am I to tell her from you in explanation of
such strange behaviour as your flying away just as she arrives?"
"Ah you needn't mind about that--you needn't tell her anything."
She fixed him as if as never again. "It's none of my business, of course
I feel; but isn't it a little cruel if you're engaged?"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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