Something about Eve: A comedy of fig-leavesCabell, James Branch
Science
Something about Eve: A comedy of fig-leaves
Cabell, James Branch
Fantasy fiction; Historical fiction; Middle Ages -- Fiction
“Altogether,” said the old gentleman who was dressed as a bishop, “I
feel that my present ranking in the Christian church is a perplexing
and, in some sense, a false position for an Arabian storm god. I have
aged under it. Oh, I have tried to be quite fair about the matter.
Sometimes I even go so far as to concede that people who have never met
a particular person might, just possibly, believe that person to be
three persons whose actions were all poetic inventions. The human
imagination is vigorous. I must point out to you, though, my friends,
that nobody could conceivably believe that about himself. These very
curious theories about me thus postulate the existence of at least one
sceptic, and they hinge indeed upon the existence of that sceptic, in
me. Now, I feel instinctively there must be an error in any such logic.
I feel it unfair that I alone of all the persons connected with my
church should be inevitably doomed to remain an atheist. And I have aged
steadily under the injustice and unreason of it all. Otherwise, if I yet
retained the vigor of my youth, I might yet, in my frank way, attempt to
clean the slate, as it were, with whirlwinds and thunderbolts and
another deluge or so, and to make a fresh start all around. But, alas, I
have aged, my dear Havvah, since the days of our first acquaintance. The
inexplicable theology and the rationalization, as they call it, to which
I have been subjected by my incomprehensible servants, now for some
eighteen centuries with ever increasing rigor, have brought me to the
point that I cannot logically believe in my own existence. The things
they tell me simply do not hold together. And so—”
He comprehensively waved his hand toward Antan.
But Gerald rose, and Gerald put aside his glass of milk and his veal
sandwich.
And Gerald said, beamingly: “You who have traveled through the Marches
of Antan, wherein only two truths endure, and the one teaching is that
we copulate and die,—you at least, I know, must, as a leading official
of the Protestant Episcopal church, look confidently forward to finding
in the goal of all the gods a third truth. The fact emboldens me to ask
that you do but answer me this very simple question—”
“Alas, my friend,” the badgered looking old gentleman broke in,
“professionally, of course, my faith is all that it should be. But in my
private capacity, as a plain-thinking Arabian storm god, now that I am
retiring from active churchwork, I suspect that when anybody anywhere
once understands the nature of any two truths, that will be quite time
enough for him to be requiring a third truth to exercise his wits upon.”
“That truism, sir, is not to be denied,” said Gerald, rather
crestfallen. “Yet that is likewise an evasion.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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