Humorous stories; Washington (State) -- Fiction; Western stories
The two Mes-dames agreed to this, knowing from their menfolk that
tobacco is one of the great human needs, both in war and in peace, and
knowing that Cousin Egbert will be sure to donate handsomely himself, he
always having been the easiest mark in town; so they said they was much
obliged for his timely suggestion and would he think up some novel
feature for the bazaar; and he said he would if he could, and they went
on to other men of influence.
Henrietta's husband, when he heard the money wouldn't all be spent for
mere food, said he'd put up a choice lot in Price's Addition to be
raffled off--a lot that would at some future date be worth five thousand
dollars of anybody's money, and that was all right; and some of the
merchants come through liberal with articles of use and adornment to be
took chances on.
Even old Proctor Knapp, the richest man in town, actually give up
something after they pestered him for an hour. He owns the People's
Traction Company and he turned over a dollar's worth of street-car
tickets to be raffled for, though saying he regarded gambling as a very
objectionable and uncertain vice, and a person shouldn't go into
anything without being sure they was dead certain to make something out
of it, war or no war, he knowing all about it. Why wouldn't he, having
started life as a poor, ragged boy and working his way up to where
parties that know him is always very careful indeed when they do any
business with him?
Some of the ladies they consulted was hostile about the tobacco end of
it. Mrs. Tracy Bangs said that no victim of the weed could keep up his
mentality, and that she, for one, would rather see her Tracy lying in
his casket than smoking vile tobacco that would destroy his intellect
and make him a loathsome object in the home. She said she knew perfectly
well that if the countries at war had picked their soldiers from
non-smokers it would have been all over in just a few days--and didn't
that show you that the tobacco demon was as bad as the rum demon?
Mrs. Leonard Wales was not only bitter about tobacco but about any help
at all. She said our hard storms of that winter had been caused by the
general hatred in Europe which created evil waves of malignity; so let
'em shoot each other till they got sense enough to dwell together in
love and amity--only we shouldn't prolong the war by sending 'em soup
and cigarettes, and so on. Her idea seemed to be that if Red Gap would
just stand firm in the matter the war would die a natural death. Still,
if a bazaar was really going to be held, she would consent to pose in a
tableau if they insisted on it, and mebbe she could thus inject into the
evil atmosphere of Europe some of the peace and good will that sets the
United States apart from other nations.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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