Humorous stories; Washington (State) -- Fiction; Western stories
"'I can't hardly get him off the place, he's so greatful to me. He tells
me his biography and about how this here blond guy has been roughing
him all over Europe and Asia, and how it had got to stop right here,
because a man has a right to live his own life, after all; and then he
branches off in a nutty way to tell me that he always takes a cold
shower every morning, winter and summer, and he never could read a line
of Sir Walter Scott, and why don't some genius invent a fountain pen
that will work at all times? and so on, till it sounded delirious. But
he left at last.
"'And we had some good ripping sport when him and sister come up. I
never seen such a blood-thirsty female. She'd nearly laugh her head off
when Kitty was gouging the eye out of one of these cunning little
scamps. She said if I'd ever seen the nasty curs pile on to one poor
defenseless little bunny I'd understand why she was so keen about my
beetle-cat. That's what she called Kate.
"'Kate, he got kind of bored with the whole business after that. He
hadn't actually eat one yet, and mebbe that was all that kept him
going--wanting to see if they'd taste any better than regular rabbits.
But you bet they knew now that Kate wasn't any kind of a rabbit. They
didn't have any more arguments on that point--they knew darn' well he
didn't have a drop of rabbit blood in his veins. Oh, he's some
beetle-cat, all right!'
"That's Cousin Egbert for you! Can you beat him--changing round and
being proud of this mixed marriage that he had formerly held to be a
scandal!
"Well, I go back home, and here is mother waiting for me. And she's a
changed woman. She's actually give up trying to make anything out of her
chits, because after considerable browbeating and third-degree stuff,
they've come through with the whole evil conspiracy--how they'd got her
prize-winning beagles licked by a common cat that wouldn't be let into
any bench show on earth! Her spirit was broke.
"'My poor son,' she says, 'I shall allow to go his silly way after this
outrageous bit of double-dealing. I think it useless to strive further
with him. He has not only confessed all the foul details, but he came
brazenly out with the assertion that a man has a right to lead his own
life--and he barely thirty!'
"She goes on to say that it's this terrible twentieth-century modernism
that has infected him. She says that, first woman sets up a claim to
live her own life, and now men are claiming the same right, even one as
carefully raised and guarded as her boy has been; and what are we coming
to? But, anyway, she did her best for him.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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