Humorous stories; Washington (State) -- Fiction; Western stories
"Then Pete, who hears this view of his case for the first time, begins
to glare at his lawyer in a very nasty way and starts to interrupt; so
the judge has to knock wood some more to get 'em all quiet. When they
do get still--with Pete looking blacker than ever at his lawyer--Cale
Jordan says: 'Pete, did you do this killing?' Pete started to say mebbe
his brother-in-law did, but caught himself in time and said 'No!' at the
same time starting for J. Waldo, that had called him crazy. Myron
Bughalter shoves him back in his chair, and Cale Jordan says: 'Your
Honour, you have heard the evidence, which is conclusive. I now ask that
the prisoner at the bar be released.' Judge Ballard frowns at Pete very
stern and says: 'The motion is granted. Turn him loose, quick, and get
the rest of that smelly bunch out of here and give the place a good
airing. I have to hold court here at ten o'clock.'
"Pete was kind of convinced now that he'd had a sure-enough trial, and
his friends had seen the marble walls and red carpet and varnished
furniture, and everything; so he consented to be set free--not in any
rush, but like he was willing to do 'em a favour.
"And all the time he's keeping a bad little eye on J. Waldo. The minute
he gets down from the stand he makes for him and says what does he mean
by saying he was crazy when he done this killing? J. Waldo tries to
explain that this was his only defense and was going on to tell what an
elegant defense it was; but Pete gets madder and madder. I guess he'd
been called everything in the world before, but never crazy; that's the
very worst thing you can tell an Injin.
"They work out toward the front door; and then I hear Pete say: 'You
know what? You said I'm crazy. My b'other-in-law's going to make
something happen to you in the night.' Pete was seeing red by that time.
The judge tells Myron to hurry and get the room cleared and open some
windows. Myron didn't have to clear it of J.W. Snyder. That bright young
lawyer dashed out and was fifty feet ahead of the bunch when they got to
the front door.
"So Pete was a free man once more, without a stain on his character
except to them that knew him well. But the old fool had lost me a
tenant. Yes, sir; this J.W. Snyder young man, with the sign hardly dry
on the glass door of his office in the Pettengill Block, had a nervous
temperament to start with, and on top of that he'd gone fully into
Pete's life history and found out that parties his brother-in-law was
displeased with didn't thrive long. He packed up his law library that
afternoon and left for another town that night.
"Yes, Pete's a wonder! Watch him slaving away out there. And he must of
been working hard all day, even with me not here to keep tabs on him.
Just look at the size of that pile of wood he's done up, when he might
easy of been loafing on the job!"
IX
LITTLE OLD NEW YORK
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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