With a blow as with a hammer the intruder broke the ice, And the proud and queenly beauty seemed to think it awful nice. Mr. Gale, as he beheld it, with a trembling heart began To realise he really was a most astonished man. Shall I tell you how he wooed her? shall I tell you how he won? How they had a hasty wedding ere the evening was done? For when all things were considered, the fond couple thought it best— Such things are not uncommon in the wild and rapid West. Dale obtained the thousand dollars, and then vanished with the dream. Gale stayed in town with sorrow, like a spoon behind the cream; Till one morning in the paper he read, though not in rhymes, How a certain blooming couple had been married fifty times! How they wandered o’er the country; how the bridegroom used to bet He would wed the girl that evening,—how he always pulled the debt; How his eyes were large and greensome; how, in fact, to end the tale, Their very latest victim was a fine young man named Gale. ARIZONA JOHN When in a situation it always pays the best To have your wits about you, for it helps the interest; And a man gets so encouraged by succeedin’ when he tries, That the more you crowd him downward, the more he’s bound to rise. As when near Tres Alamos, while workin’ at his mine, John Lyons, late of Tombstone, without the least design To involve himself whatever in any kind of tricks, Got inside an unprovided and a most unpleasant fix. John Lyons, late of Tombstone, had but just put in a blast, When he saw four buck Apaches approximatin’ fast Upon their headlong horses in a rackaloose career, And every one preceded by a long projectin’ spear: He had planted all the powder, and was just atop the shaft, While the foemen kept a-comin’ like as they was telegrapht. To run was to be taken, and to stay was to be slew— And in such a situation how-whatever could he do? Bein’ quick upon the trigger Lyons did not stop to choose, For a match was in his fingers, so he lighted up the fuse, And dropped behind a boulder for to disabuse their aim, When at him like a sheriff’s writ full dig the Injuns came. He had timed the fuse so nicely that the ’Paches reached the rock Exactly at the nick of the explosionary shock: Bang! How the big rock busted as the powder gave a flare! While a rain of stones and gravel went a-thunderin’ through the air. It was four red Apaches who also had a rise, And started for the hunting-grounds on horseback thro’ the skies; Or as if they had the notion, but recalled it there and then, For they speedily descended as four non-existent men.