_Trivia_ was one of the earliest productions of John Gay, and although its poetical merit is by no means conspicuous, it is one of the poet's most notable productions, as a vivid description of the streets of London two hundred years ago. The piece is too long to print in full, but the extracts which are given are typical and representative of the general style and matter of the poem. But when the swinging signs your ears offend With creaking noise, then rainy floods impend; Soon shall the kennels swell with rapid streams, And rush in muddy torrents to the Thames. The bookseller, whose shop's an open square, Forsees the tempest, and with early care Of learning strips the rails; the rowing crew, To tempt a fare, clothe all their tilts in blue; On hosier's poles depending stockings ty'd, Flag with the slacken'd gale from side to side; Church-monuments foretell the changing air, Then Niobe dissolves into a tear, And sweats with sacred grief; you'll hear the sounds Of whistling winds, ere kennels break their bounds; Ungrateful odours common-shores diffuse, And dropping vaults distil unwholesome dews, Ere the tiles rattle with the smoking shower, And spouts on heedless men their torrents pour. If cloth'd in black you tread the busy town, Or if distinguish'd by the reverend gown, Three trades avoid: oft in the mingling press The barber's apron soils the sable dress; Shun the perfumer's touch with cautious eye, Nor let the baker's step advance too nigh. Ye walkers too, that youthful colours wear, Three sullying trades avoid with equal care: The little chimney-sweeper skulks along, And marks with sooty stains the heedless throng; When small-coal murmurs in the hoarser throat, From smutty dangers guard thy threaten'd coat; The dustman's cart offends thy clothes and eyes, When through the street a cloud of ashes flies; But, whether black or lighter dyes are worn, The chandler's basket, on his shoulder borne, With tallow spots thy coat; resign the way, To shun the surly butcher's greasy tray. If drawn by business to a street unknown, Let the sworn porter point thee through the town; Be sure observe the signs, for signs remain, Like faithful landmarks, to the walking train. Seek not from 'prentices to learn the way, Those fabling boys will turn thy steps astray; Ask the grave tradesmen to direct thee right, He ne'er deceives—but when he profits by't.