He had been in many tight corners, but never in so tight a corner as
this. Hardly ever. He thought of the lady lying dead upstairs and all
she had done towards establishing and consolidating their social
position; how she had economized for him, yes, and lied for him--better,
far better, than he could ever hope to lie. For she possessed that most
priceless of all gifts: she believed her own lies. She looked people
straight in the face and spoke from her heart; a falsehood, before it
left her lips, had grown into a flaming truth. She was a florid,
improvident liar. There was no classical parsimony about her
misstatements. They were copious baroque, and encrusted with pleasing
and unexpected tricks of ornamentation. That tropical redundancy for
which her person was renowned reflected itself likewise in her
temperament--in nothing more than the exuberance of her untruths which
were poured out in so torrential a flood, with such burning conviction
at the opulence of detail that persons who knew her well used to stand
aghast (Catholics had been known to cross themselves) at the fertility
of her constructive imagination, while the most hardened sceptics
protested that, even if her facts were wrong, there could be no doubt
as to her sincerity, her ingenuousness. Ah, she was a woman in a
thousand! Often had Mr. Parker sat at her feet, a respectful disciple,
listening spellbound and striving to acquire that secret--a secret which
was, after all, not so much art as nature. He could never hope to rival
her technique.
That was because he could not look you in the face; because he
disbelieved not only his own lies, but those of other people--and not
only their lies, but their truths; because he distrusted everything and
everybody, and was duly distrusted in his turn. Nobody believed a word
he said, and some rude persons went so far as to tell him exactly what
they thought of him. They called him a liar in public and in private.
Such experiences are trying to one's nerve; they end in giving you a
shifty look. People who knew him well never took his word for granted,
and the more casual acquaintance would say that even if his facts were
correct now and then he could not help being a fraud all the same.
And now she was gone, this lady who had saved him from countless small
annoyances, who had given him self-esteem and a kind of social
backbone. He stared into the darkness. Where was money to come
from--those miserable fifteen pounds, for example? What would happen?
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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