"I don't think one can talk about angles when describing an island or
even a continent, except in a figurative and flowery fashion. As a
teacher of geometry, it is my business to dwell among angles; and the
thirty-five boys in my class will bear witness to the fact that my
relations with angles, great and small, are above reproach. I admit
that there are angles everywhere, and that a man who really likes their
company will stumble against them in the most unexpected places. But
they are sometimes hard to see, unless one deliberately looks for them.
I think Charlie must have been looking for them in Trinidad."
"I said angles AND THINGS, and I always stick to what I say. AND
THINGS. You will be good enough, Mr. Professor, to draw your map
accordingly."
"Gentlemen! I rise to a point of order. Our Indian friend here is
greatly annoyed. He has been accused of wearing stays. At his urgent
request I have convinced myself, by personal inspection, that he wears
nothing of the kind. He is naturally slim-waisted, as befits a worthy
representative of the noble Hairyan race. It has also been suggested
that he loses caste by his present mode of conduct. He begs me to say
that, being a Jamshi-worshipper, he doesn't care a brass farthing about
caste. Thirdly, he has been blamed in certain quarters for his
immoderate indulgence in Parker's poison. Let me tell you, gentlemen,
in my capacity as Vice-President, that for the last four thousand years
his family has enjoyed a special dispensation from the Great Mogul,
authorizing the eldest son to drink whatever he damn well pleases. Our
friend here happens to be the third son. But that is obviously not his
fault. If it were, he would have come forward with an apology long ago.
Gentlemen! I can't speak fairer than that. Whoever says I'm not a
gentleman--why, he isn't one either."
"Hear, hear! I never knew you were an ornithologist, Richards."
"Nor did I--not till this moment. But when it's a question of defending
the honour of a Club-member I always rise to the occasion. Some
things--they simply make my blood boil. Look at this REFEREE: two weeks
out of date! How the blazes is a man--"
"I say, Charlie, what did the fellow on the ranch want to do with that
skunk? Something about tickling, wasn't it?"
"Hush, my boy. We can't talk about it here. You're not old enough yet.
I don't think I ought to tell you. It's too funny for words...."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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