"I never heard a more profound remark, Koppen, no, nor a more subtle
one; not even from you. Nor yet from you, Heard. And I can tell you
something to the point. I was talking this afternoon with a gentleman
about the stage. I said it made me said to see flesh-and-blood people
pretending to be kings and queens. Because it cannot be done. No
sensible person can bring himself to believe it. But when you watch
some of these local marionette theatres the illusion is complete. Why
is a poppy show more convincing than the COMEDIE FRANCAISE? Because it
is still further removed from reality. There is so much make-belief
that you cease to struggle. You succumb without an effort. You are
quite disposed, you are positively anxious, to make concessions to the
improbable. Once they are made--why, as you say, it is plain sailing."
"All life is a concession to the improbable," observed the bishop
rather vaguely.
Mr. Richards remarked:
"These questions must be approached with an open mind. An open mind,
gentlemen, is not necessarily an empty one."
"A fine distinction!"
"Very well. Mr. Keith proposes to abolish theatres. I second the
motion. Nothing is easier. Let me draw up a memorial to the House of
Lords. We will appeal to them on moral grounds. I know the proper
language. WHEREAS BY THE GRACE OF GOD YOUR PETITIONERS HUMBLY PROTEST
THAT THERE IS TOO MUCH KISSING ON THE STAGE--ah! Talking of kissing,
here comes our friend Don Francesco. He shall put his name to the
memorial and seal it with an oath. No Englishman can resist a
Monsignor. And nothing like a solemn oath. People always think you mean
it."
That amiable personage strode down the stairs in dignified fashion,
greeting the guests with a sonorous:
"PAX VOBISCUM!"
He could not be induced to stay long, however. He had been perturbed
all day on account of the Duchess who now threatened to join the
Moravian Brotherhood; she was so annoyed about a little thing which had
happened. He did not quite believe it, of course; but, like a
well-trained priest, took nothing for granted and was prepared for
every emergency where ladies are concerned.
"Just one glass!" said Keith.
"Let me drink to your health ere we part," added the bishop. "I am
sorry to leave you. Our friendship will endure. We meet in September,
during the vintage season. Keith has been talking to me. I am as wax in
his hands. Your smile, Don Francesco, will follow me across the ocean.
Just one glass!"
"Ah, well!" said the priest. "The next best thing to leading others
astray is to be led astray oneself."
He gulped down a couple of tumblers and dutifully took his leave,
turning round, as he reached the staircase, to make a playful gesture
of benediction towards the assembled company.
"Don't leave your bottle half empty," Keith called after him,
imploringly. "It looks untidy."
"And so unhappy," added the bishop. "Dear me! This is most singular. I
seem to see two lamps instead of one. It must have been those
apricots."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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