American fiction -- Southern States; Short stories, American -- Southern States; Southern States -- Social life and customs -- Fiction
Consternation reigned the “len'th an' brea'th” of Jim-Ned. Mrs.
Cullum--placid and easy-going Mrs. Tobe--under the same roof with him,
actually had not spoken to her lawful and wedded husband since the
snipe-hunt ten days ago come Monday!
“It's plumb scan'lous!” Mrs. Pinson exclaimed, at her daughter's quilting.
“I never would of thought sech a thing of Sissy--never!”
“As of the boys of Jim-Ned couldn't have a little innercent fun without
Mis' Cullum settin' in jedgment on 'em!” sniffed Mrs. Leggett.
“Shot up, Becky Leggett,” said her mother, severely. “By time you've put up
with a man's capers for twenty-five years, like Sissy Cullum have, you'll
have the right to talk, an' not before.”
“They say Tobe is wellnigh out'n his mind,” remarked Mrs. Trimble. “Ez for
that soft-headed Bud Mines, he have fair fattened on that snipe-hunt. He's
gittin' ez sassy an' mischeevous ez Jack Carter hisse'f.”
This last statement was literally true. The victim of Tobe Cullum's
disastrous practical joke had become on a sudden case-hardened, as it were.
The consumptive pallor had miraculously disappeared from his cheeks and the
homesick look from his eyes. He bore the merciless chaffing at Bishop's
with devil-may-care good-nature, and he besought Mrs. Cullum, almost with
tears in his eyes, to “let up on Mr. Tobe.”
“I was sech a dern fool, Mis' Cullum,” he candidly confessed, “that I don't
blame Mr. Tobe for puttin' up a job on me. Besides,” he added, his eyes
twinkling shrewdly, “I'm goin' to git even. I'm layin' off to take Jim
Belcher, that biggetty drummer from Waco, a-snipin' out Buck Snort next
Sat'day night. He's a bigger idjit than I ever was.”
“You ten' to your own business, Bud, an' I'll ten' to mine,” Mrs. Cullum
returned, not unkindly. Which business on her part apparently was to make
Mr. Cullum miserable by taking no notice of him whatever. The house under
her supervision was, as it had always been, a model of neatness; the meals
were cooked by her own hands and served with an especial eye to Tobe's
comfort; his clothes were washed and ironed, and his white shirt laid out
on Sunday mornings, with the accustomed care and regularity. But with these
details Mrs. Cullum's wifely attentions ended. She remained absolutely deaf
to any remark addressed to her by her husband, looking through and beyond
him when he was present with a steady, unseeing gaze, which was, to say the
least, exasperating. All necessary communication with him was carried on by
means of the children. “Minty,” she would say at the breakfast-table, “ask
your pa if he wants another cup of coffee”; or at night, “Temp'unce, tell
your pa that Buster has shed a shoe”; or, “Sue, does your pa know where
them well-grabs is?” et caetera, et caetera.
The demoralized household huddled, so to speak, between the opposing camps,
frightened and unhappy, and things were altogether in a bad way.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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