Florida -- History -- Revolution, 1775-1783 -- Fiction; Historical fiction; War stories
"I will have a silver bullet next time," said Andrew, and fell
silent. The two friends sat together in the dark for some time
without saying anything more. Both were gazing into the shadow that
encompassed them and Andrew's hand lay lightly on Sebastian's
shoulder. There seemed little need of speech between them at the
moment--each knew well enough what the other felt and thought. When
Andrew had first entered this mildewed night, he had been curious to
hear Sebastian's story and eager to tell his own. Now he felt as if
both had been told and judged and found unimportant. There were only
three things left of any importance, an ache in the skull, a darkness
before the eyes, and the quick sound of scuttling feet in the other
corners of the room.
After a while, however, Andrew spoke.
"Do you think there'll be a next time, Sebastian?" he said, heavily.
"Who knows?" said Sebastian, "We are always between God's
fingers--now no less than ever."
At any other time the words would have struck Andrew as insufferably
bigoted and submissive. Now they seemed to him what they were, a
calm statement of fact. To Sebastian God was a visible and tangible
presence--therefore He was here, in this pit, no more so and no less
than He was everywhere. He was with the soldiers in the guardroom,
also, as they drank out of empty cups and cut at toy food that stuck
to its plate. He was with Dr. Gentian in his study when devils
hatched in the fire. No sin could avert that scrutiny, no blasphemy
or righteousness deter its penetration by the width of a hair. When
the time came for judgment, they should all be judged--meanwhile it
behooved them to act according to their lights, for, within their
limits of flesh, they were free to do good or evil. God had bound
them all with a light, indivisible cord--when He wished, He could
gather them up and count them like the buttons on Peggy's button
string. In the meantime, He might never lift a finger to avert a
present anguish--for so are martyrs left without justification.
Andrew wished that he could think of God like that, but he could not.
To him God was something vague to pray to, for happiness or against
the approach of pain--something which might be there, God was a
cushioned pew and a prayer-book and a clergyman in robes as opposed
to a hard pew and a long hymn and a preacher in a black Geneva gown.
He had never thought much about God except as a superior kind of
Archbishop of Canterbury who sat on a cloud and looked at Papists
sternly. But Sebastian was a Papist--and Sebastian had taken God in
his mouth--and God was with him now. It was very strange and just a
little unfair.
"They say I'm a traitor," he said idly, "They say the Northern
colonies have revolted and there was a fight between our men and the
soldiers--and my brother was in it, so I must be a traitor, too."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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