Sparrows: The Story of an Unprotected GirlNewte, Horace W. C. (Horace Wykeham Can)
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Sparrows: The Story of an Unprotected Girl
Newte, Horace W. C. (Horace Wykeham Can)
London (England) -- Fiction
Once or twice, when owing to Perigal's not making an appearance, Mavis
spent the evening alone, she would feel keenly disappointed, and would
go home with a strong sense of the emptiness of life.
During her day at the office, or when in her lodgings, she was either
absent-minded or self-conscious; she was always longing to get away
with only her thoughts for company. She would sometimes sigh for
apparently no reason at all. Then Miss Toombs lent her a volume of
Shelley, the love passages in which Mavis eagerly devoured. Her
favourite time for reading was in bed. She marked, to read and reread,
favourite passages. Often in the midst of these she would leave off,
when her mind would pursue a train of thought inspired by a phrase or
thought of the poet. Very soon she had learned 'Love's Philosophy' by
heart. The next symptom of the ailment from which she was suffering was
a dreamy languor (frequently punctuated by sighs), which disposed her
to offer passionate resentment to all forms of physical and mental
effort. This mood was not a little encouraged by the fact of the hay
now lying on the ground, to the scent of which she was always
emotionally susceptible.
Perigal renounced fishing at the same time as did Mavis. He had a fine
instinct for discovering her whereabouts in the meadows bordering the
river.
For some while, she had no hesitation in suffering herself to cultivate
his friendship. If she had any doubts of the wisdom of the proceeding,
there were always two ample justifications at hand.
The first of these was that her association with him had effected a
considerable improvement in his demeanour. He was no longer the
mentally down-at-heel, soured man that he had been when Mavis first met
him. He had taken on a lightness of heart, which, with his slim, boyish
beauty, was very attractive to Mavis, starved as she had been of all
association with men of her own age and social position. She believed
that the beneficent influence she exercised justified the hours she
permitted him of her society.
The other reason was that she deluded herself into believing that her
sighs and Shelley-inspired imaginings were all because of Windebank's
imminent return. She thought of him every day, more especially since
she had met Perigal. She often contrasted the two men in her thoughts,
when it would seem as if Windebank's presence, so far as she remembered
it, had affected her life as a bracing, health-giving wind; whereas
Perigal influenced her in the same way as did appealing music, reducing
her to a languorous helplessness. She had for so long associated
Windebank with any sentimental leanings in which she had indulged, that
she was convinced that her fidelity to his memory was sufficient
safeguard against her becoming infatuated with Perigal.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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