Great Britain -- Social life and customs -- 19th century -- Fiction; Short stories
May 9.--I have got no further in my study of these two enigmatical
people, who seem to have not one thought, not one feeling, in common,
and yet who seem to live so calmly side by side, in this vast house
where they need never meet except at meals, or when the presence of
strangers isolates them. I am wholly unable to talk with the Baron, who
ignores me with the most punctilious deference. He never enters the
library, and, in the drawing-room, is never without a newspaper, of
which he rarely turns the pages. With the Baroness I can always talk; I
can even, what is rare with me, listen. For a woman, her ideas are
surprisingly well informed: quotations, of course, but arranged with a
personal sense of decoration. She can discuss general questions broadly,
with a rare frankness, a kind of eager sincerity. What does the Baron
think, I wonder, behind that screen of the newspaper, if, as he sits
motionless, he is listening, as I cannot but believe, to every word that
is said? I often look at the newspaper, hoping to see it at least
quiver, if not drop to the floor, and the man leap out of his ambush.
The Baroness interests me a little more every day, and this interest is
oddly balanced by my equal difficulty in looking or in not looking at
her. When she is talking with me she invariably arranges herself so as
to be on my left; often she leans her head on her left hand, as if to
shield even what remains unseen. How horribly she must suffer from this
living mask, under which she is condemned to exist! How long, I wonder,
has she worn it, and shall I ever know the cause? Is she always
conscious of its presence, of the eyes that seek to avoid it, and
return, despite themselves, stealthily? I can conceive no more exquisite
torture. Or yes, there is one. Suppose this woman, in whom I can
distinguish a quite unusual force and energy of emotion, were to fall in
love again: she is at the age of lasting passions, and what could be
more natural in her? That would be a tragedy which I hardly like to
think of; the more so, as I can easily conceive how powerful must have
been her attraction before the time of this accident. There is something
almost magnetic in her nature, and I can see that the Kahns, for
instance, are attracted by her to the point of hardly seeing her as she
is, of forgetting to look at her with their own eyes.
* * * * *
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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