Squire Arden; volume 1 of 3Oliphant, Mrs. (Margaret)
General
Squire Arden; volume 1 of 3
Oliphant, Mrs. (Margaret)
England -- Fiction; Families -- Fiction; Inheritance and succession -- Fiction; Landowners -- Fiction
Mrs. Murray was left alone with her grandchild, and she was glad. Though
she was old, she was full of that patient strength which shows itself
without any ostentation whenever the emergency which requires it arises.
She was not sorry for herself, nor did she think much of her own age, or
of what was due to her. She had long got over that phase of life in
which a woman has leisure to think of herself. And there was no panic of
alarm about her, such as might have come to the inexperienced. She knew
her work, and all about it, and did not overwhelm herself with
unnecessary excitements. She laid her child down in the grass, in the
shade, laying her head upon a folded shawl. Jeanie had come out of her
faint, but she lay in a state of exhaustion, with her eyes closed,
unable to move or speak. The grandmother knew it was impossible to take
her home in such a state of prostration. She seated herself so as to
screen her charge from passers by, and resumed her knitting--a picture
of calm and thoughtful composure--serious, yet with no trace of mystery
or panic about her. What had happened to Jeanie was connected with their
own affairs. It was a thing which nobody but themselves had anything to
do with. She sat and watched the young sufferer with all that grave
power of self-restraint which it is always so impressive to witness,
asking neither help nor pity, knitting on steadily, with sometimes a
tender glance from her deep eyes at the young fair creature lying at her
side, and sometimes a keen look round to guard against intrusion. The
work went on through all, and those thoughts which nobody knew of, which
no one suspected. What was she thinking about? She had a breadth of
sixty years to go back upon, and memories to recall with which nothing
here had any connection. Or could it be possible that there might be a
certain connection between her thoughts and this unknown place?
Sometimes she paused in her work, and dropped her hands, and turned her
face towards the house, which was invisible from where she sat, and fell
into a deeper musing. “Would I do it over again if it were to do?” she
said half aloud to herself, with an instinctive impulse to break the
intense stillness; and then, making no answer to her own question, sat
with her head dropped on her hand, gazing into the shadowy distance.
What was it she had done? It was something which touched her
conscience--touched her heart; but she had not repented of it as a
positive wrong, and could yet, it was clear, bring forth a hundred
arguments to justify herself to herself. She paused, and leant her head
upon her hand, and fixed her eyes on the distance, in which, unseen, lay
the home of the Ardens. Her thoughts had strayed away from Jeanie. She
mused, and she sighed a sigh which was very deep and long drawn, as if
it came from the depths of her being. “The ways of ill-doers are hard,”
she murmured to herself; and then, after a pause, “Would I do it again?”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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