Squire Arden; volume 1 of 3Oliphant, Mrs. (Margaret)
General
Squire Arden; volume 1 of 3
Oliphant, Mrs. (Margaret)
England -- Fiction; Families -- Fiction; Inheritance and succession -- Fiction; Landowners -- Fiction
frightful, what would it be his duty to do? Edgar roamed about the woods
which were his, putting to himself in every point of view this
appalling question. A man could take no single step in such
circumstances without taking upon him the responsibility of heaping
shame upon his mother, and giving up her cause. It would be her whom he
would cover with disgrace, much more than himself. He would have to
decide a question which nobody but she could decide, and to give it
against her, his nearest and dearest relation. Could any one willingly
assume such an office? And, on the other hand, how could he retain a
name, an inheritance, a position to which he had no right, and probably
exclude the rightful heir? “Thank heaven,” said Edgar fervently, “_that_
can never be my case. The son of the woman to whom God gave so angelic a
countenance can never have to blush for his mother. Whatever records
came to light, _she_ never shall be shamed.” He gave up whole days to
this question, pondering it again and again in his mind. The sight of
the portrait gave him for that one day an absolute certainty that such
was not his position: and this force of conviction carried him through
the second and even the third day; but then as the first impression
waned a horrible chill of doubt stole slowly over him. That hypothesis,
terrible as it was, could it but be believed, explained so much. It
explained the Squire’s dislike to himself at once and vindicated the
unhappy old man. It explained why he was kept at so great a distance,
brought up in so strange a way; and oh, good God! if such could be the
case, what was Edgar’s duty? His brain began to whirl when he got so
far; and then he would work his way back again through all the
arguments. Dr. Somers had calculated when he threw abroad this winged
and barbed seed that Edgar was too easy-minded, too careless and
good-natured and indifferent to let it rest in his thoughts; and to hide
his consciousness of it, to be blank as a stone wall to any allusion
which might recall it, was clearly now the first duty of Mrs. Arden’s
son. If he could but be absolutely sure of it one way or other; if he
could put it utterly out of his mind, on the one hand, or--a horrible
alternative, which nevertheless would be next best--know absolutely that
it was true! But neither of these things seemed possible to Edgar. He
had to submit to that doubt which was so fundamental and
all-embracing--doubt as to his own very being, the foundations upon
which his life was built--and never to breathe a whisper of it to any
creature on the face of the earth. A hard task.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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