Squire Arden; volume 2 of 3Oliphant, Mrs. (Margaret)
General
Squire Arden; volume 2 of 3
Oliphant, Mrs. (Margaret)
England -- Fiction; Families -- Fiction; Inheritance and succession -- Fiction; Landowners -- Fiction
Clare was absolutely stunned by the blow which had just fallen upon her.
Had she taken time to think, no doubt she would have seen that she was
unjust--but she did not take any time to think. It was the first great
slight she had ever received in her life--a slight greater than any
other kind of disrespect that could be shown to a woman. A man who had
been devoting himself to her, who had caught at every opportunity for
showing his devotion since the moment he reappeared at Arden--that he
should venture to go and excuse himself to her on the ground of
inevitable engagements, and then be discovered hanging about a village
girl, recommending himself so potently that her friends interfered! Oh,
how glad she was, how grateful to Perfitt for bringing that complaint to
her! She might never have known; she might have believed that he was
worthy, and that he loved her, but for that revelation. She was grateful
to Perfitt, and yet how she hated him! But for him she might still have
been partially happy. She would have received the excuse, and to-morrow
all might have been well; that was to say, she would have allowed
herself to be deceived, which, of all fates, was surely the meanest and
most humiliating. And then to think how much good she had intended to
her cousin! In this moment of bitter humiliation Clare ceased to trifle
with herself. She tore off the veil which she had wrapt so willingly
over her eyes, and admitted to herself that she had meant to bestow
everything upon her kinsman. She had even gone the length of being quite
content to despoil her brother for his sake. She had made up her mind
that Old Arden should be his, and that if she could not make him the
head of the family she would at least secure to him its oldest
possessions. All this she admitted to herself in the tumult of rage and
shame which filled her mind. She was ready to do all this, and he---- He
could not sacrifice to her a passing fancy for the pretty face of a
girl; for there could be nothing more than that in it. And where was the
mother who should have taken charge of the girl? Clare tried hard to
persuade herself that it was Jeanie’s fault, or that the grandmother had
some artful design upon Arthur. She tried very hard to believe that she
believed this, but it was a difficult attempt. The thought came back to
her with renewed bitterness that it was he--he only--who was in fault,
he to whom she would have given everything! Then her mind took a sudden
leap, as the mind will sometimes do at its own will and pleasure, and
pictured to her what might have happened had she actually done what she
had been willing to do. The future, which had been so likely an hour
ago, which was so impossible now, opened up upon her with a great flash
and glow. She saw herself his wife, dependent upon him for all her
happiness, pledged to him for ever and ever; his honour hers, his credit
hers; the burden of any scandal, of any shame that might come upon him,
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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