St. Bernard's: The Romance of a Medical StudentBerdoe, Edward
General
St. Bernard's: The Romance of a Medical Student
Berdoe, Edward
Medical students -- Fiction
His black arts were neither secret nor sublime, but the openly belauded
methods of investigation, involving the tortures of sentient beings for
the sake of learning the idle arts these pedants taught at the schools.
He, too, had invoked the aid of the sullen forces of Nature, from which
he had thrust Nature’s God, and they had done his bidding in a way—and
the way was hopeless and dark. He had long felt this reckoning-day with
himself must come; he was too honest to go on much longer leaving the
question of his responsibility unsettled; he was too healthy-brained to
give way to despair, till he had found a _modus vivendi_ with his
better nature impossible. Early bereft of a mother’s care, his father,
wholly absorbed in his literary pursuits, and keeping up merely the
slightest correspondence with his son, whom he had apparently almost
forgotten, Elsworth had very few family ties, and was perfectly master
of his own position. He had no fear of his father’s withdrawing his
allowance of £300 a year. As it happened, he had the day before been
paid a sum of rather over £100 by his agents; he was not in debt, save
in a small sum to his landlady, and the hospital beadle, with some
trifling amounts in the neighbourhood of St. Bernard’s which his man of
business would pay. Why not cut the old familiar scenes? The wilderness
period has to be gone through by every man with a work to do; the
retreat is salutary for the stricken soul. Why not enter into it
at once? He was a man of resolute will, possessed by a strong
determination when the right and proper thing to be done confronted
him. He had true stuff in his composition; originality, firm purpose.
Boldness to do and dare came to him from his father, who had won his
promotion in Indian warfare through a grandly conceived and brilliantly
original movement, which had insured the enemy’s defeat at the moment
his own seemed imminent. It should be done; he would go away early in
the morning light. “Let him that is on the house-top not come down to
take anything out of the house.” And he went not down, nor took
anything of his old life, but made straight for Paris that same day,
for, like his father when he made his brilliant move, he had formed a
plan and carried it out.
He gave directions to his lawyer to discharge all claims upon him, to
say that he had gone abroad, and would not return for some time, but
begged him not to disclose his whereabouts to any one without first
communicating with him at the address he should forward, when he had
chosen his headquarters.
Now he began to enter into himself. He must seek some hallowed place of
prayer to consecrate his remaining years to God, and renew his
baptismal vows, to drink a deep draught of the Divine Spirit as he
entered on his new work.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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