Alabama -- History -- Civil War, 1861-1865 -- Fiction; Domestic fiction; War stories
"Mr. Murray, I never deceived you, and I know that however incensed you
may be, however harsh and unjust, I know that in your heart you do not
doubt my truthfulness. Why you invariably denounce Mr. Hammond when you
happen to be displeased with me, I can not conjecture; but I tell you
solemnly that he has never even indirectly alluded to the question of
'duelling' since I have known him. Mr. Murray, I know you do entirely
believe me when I utter these words."
A tinge of red leaped into his cheek, something that would have been
called hope in any other man's eyes looked out shyly under his heavy
black lashes, and a tremor shook off the sneering curl of his bloodless
lips.
Drawing her so close to him that his hair touched her forehead, he
whispered:
"If I believe in you, my--it is in defiance of judgment, will, and
experience, and some day you will make me pay a most humiliating
penalty for my momentary weakness. To-night I trust you as implicitly
as Samson did the smooth-lipped Delilah; to-morrow I shall realize
that, like him, I richly deserve to be shorn for my silly credulity."
He threw her hands rudely from him, turned hastily and left the library.
Enda sat down and covered her face with her bruised and benumbed
fingers, but she could not shut out the sight of something that
astonished and frightened her--of something that made her shudder from
head to foot, and crouch down in her chair cowed and humiliated.
Hitherto she had fancied that she thoroughly understood and sternly
governed her heart--that conscience and reason ruled it; but within the
past hour it had suddenly risen in dangerous rebellion, thrown off its
allegiance to all things else, and insolently proclaimed St. Elmo
Murray its king. She could not analyze her new feelings, they would not
obey the summons to the tribunal of her outraged self-respect; and with
bitter shame and reproach and abject contrition, she realized that she
had begun to love the sinful, blasphemous man who had insulted her
revered grandfather, and who barely tolerated her presence in his house.
This danger had never once occurred to her, for she had always believed
that love could only exist where high esteem and unbounded reverence
prepared the soil; and she was well aware that this man's character had
from the first hour of their acquaintance excited her aversion and
dread. Ten days before she had positively disliked and feared him; now,
to her amazement, she found him throned in her heart, defying ejection.
The sudden revulsion bewildered and mortified her, and she resolved to
crush out the feeling at once, cost what it might. When Mr. Murray had
asked if she loved any one else better than Mr. Leigh, she thought, nay
she knew, she answered truly in the negative. But now, when she
attempted to compare the two men, such a strange, yearning tenderness
pleaded for St. Elmo, and palliated his grave faults, that the girl's
self-accusing severity wrung a groan from the very depths of her soul.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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