Alabama -- History -- Civil War, 1861-1865 -- Fiction; Domestic fiction; War stories
discovered; and putting the key in your hands, I went abroad. I wanted
to satisfy myself that you were unworthy, and believed you would betray
the trust. For four years I wandered, restless, impatient, scorning
myself more and more because I could not forget your sweet, pure,
haunting face; because, despite my jeers, I knew that I loved you. At
last I wrote to my mother from Egypt that I should go to Central
Persia, and so I intended. But one night as I sat alone, smoking, amid
the ruins of the propylon at Philas, a vision of Le Bocage rose before
me, and your dear face looked at me from the lotus-crowned columns of
the ancient temple. I forgot the hate I bore all mankind; I forgot
every thing but you; your pure, calm, magnificent eyes; and the longing
to see you, my darling--the yearning to look into your eyes once more,
took possession of me. I sat there till the great, golden, dewless dawn
of the desert fell upon Egypt, and then came a struggle long and
desperate. I laughed and swore at my folly; but far down in the abysses
of my distorted nature hope had kindled a little feeble, flickering
ray. I tried to smother it, but its flame clung to some crevice in my
heart, and would not be crushed. While I debated, a pigeon that dwelt
somewhere in the crumbling temple fluttered down at my feet, cooed
softly, looked in my face, then perched on a mutilated red granite
sphinx immediately in front of me, and after a moment rose, circled
above me in the pure, rainless air and flew westward. I accepted it as
an omen, and started to America instead of to Persia. On the night of
the tenth of December, four years after I bade you good-bye at the park
gate, I was again at Le Bocage. Silently and undiscovered I stole into
my own house, and secreted myself behind the curtains in the library. I
had been there one hour when you and Gordon Leigh came in to examine
the Targum. Oh, Edna! how little you dreamed of the eager, hungry eyes
that watched you! During that hour that you two sat there bending over
the same book, I became thoroughly convinced that while I loved you as
I never expected to love any one, Gordon also loved you, and intended
if possible to make you his wife. I contrasted my worn, haggard face
and grayish locks with his, so full of manly hope and youthful beauty,
and I could not doubt that any girl would prefer him to me. Edna, my
retribution began then. I felt that my devil was mocking me, as I had
long mocked others, and made me love you when it was impossible to win
you. Then and there I was tempted to spring upon and throttle you both
before he triumphantly called you his. At last Leigh left, and I
escaped to my own rooms. I was pacing the floor when I heard you cross
the rotunda and saw the glimmer of the light you carried. Hoping to see
you open the little Taj, I crawled behind the sarcophagus that holds my
two mummies, crouched close to the floor, and peeped at you across the
gilded byssus that covered them. My eyes, I have often been told,
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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