Alabama -- History -- Civil War, 1861-1865 -- Fiction; Domestic fiction; War stories
She dreaded the power of his lustrous, mesmeric eyes, and instantly her
long silky lashes swept her flushed cheeks.
"Ah! you dare not! You can not look me steadily in the eye and say,
'St. Elmo, I never have loved--do not--and never can love you!' You are
too truthful; your lips can not dissemble. I know you do not want to
love me. Your reason, your conscience forbid it; you are struggling to
crush your heart. You think it your duty to despise and hate me. But,
my own, Edna--my darling! my darling! you do love me! You know you do
love me, though you will not confess it! My proud darling!"
He drew the face tenderly to his own, and kissed her quivering lips
repeatedly, and at last a moan of anguish told how she was wrestling
with her heart.
"Do you think you can hide your love from my eager eyes? Oh! I know
that I am unworthy of you! I feel it more and more every day, every
hour. It is because you seem so noble--so holy--to my eyes, that I
reverence while I love you. You are so far above all other women--so
glorified in your pure, consistent piety--that you only have the power
to make my future life--redeem the wretched and sinful past. I tempted
and tried you, and when you proved so true and honest and womanly, you
kindled a faint beam of hope that, after all, there might be truth and
saving, purifying power in religion. Do you know that since this church
was finished I have never entered it until a month ago, when I followed
you here, and crouched downstairs--yonder, behind one of the pillars,
and heard your sacred songs, your hymns so full of grandeur, so full of
pathos, that I could not keep back my tears while I listened. Since
then I have come every Saturday afternoon, and during the hour spent
here my unholy nature was touched and softened as no sermon ever
touched it. Oh! you wield a power over me--over all my future, which
ought to make you tremble! The first generous impulse that has stirred
my callous, bitter soul since I was a boy, I owe to you. I went first
to see poor Reed, in order to discover what took you so often to that
cheerless place; and my interest in little Huldah arose from the fact
that you loved the child. Oh, my darling! I know I have been sinful and
cruel and blasphemous; but it is not too late for me to atone! It is
not too late for me to do some good in the world; and if you will only
love me, and trust me, and help me--"
His voice faltered, his tears fell upon her forehead, and stooping he
kissed her lips softly, reverently, as if he realized the presence of
something sacred.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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