Alabama -- History -- Civil War, 1861-1865 -- Fiction; Domestic fiction; War stories
"It grieves me to have to tell you that, after all, I fear St. Elmo
will marry Estelle Harding. He does not love her, she can not influence
him to redeem himself; his future looks hopeless indeed. Edna, my
child! what have you done! Oh! what have you done!"
Her heart gave a sudden, wild bound, then a spasm seemed to seize it,
and presently the fluttering ceased, her pulses stopped, and a chill
darkness fell upon her.
Her head sank heavily on her chest, and when she recovered, her memory
she felt an intolerable sensation of suffocation, and a sharp pain that
seemed to stab the heart, whose throbs were slow and feeble.
She raised the window and leaned out panting for breath, and the
freezing wind powdered her face with fine snowflakes, and sprinkled its
fairy flower-crystals over her hair.
The outer world was chill and dreary, the leafless limbs of the trees
in the park looked ghostly and weird against the dense dun clouds which
seemed to stretch like a smoke mantle just above the sea of roofs; and,
dimly seen through the white mist, Brooklyn's heights and Staten's
hills were huge outlines monstrous as Echidna.
Physical pain blanched Edna's lips, and she pressed her hand repeatedly
to her heart, wondering what caused those keen pangs. At last, when the
bodily suffering passed away, and she sat down exhausted, her mind
reverted to the sentence in Mr. Hammond's letter.
She knew the words were not lightly written, and that his reproachful
appeal had broken from the depths of his aching heart, and was intended
to rouse her to some action.
"I can do nothing, say nothing! Must sit still and wait
patiently--prayerfully. To-day, if I could put out my hand and touch
Mr. Murray, and bind him to me for ever, I would not. No, no! Not a
finger must I lift, even between him and Estelle! But he will not marry
her! I know--I feel that he will not. Though I never look upon his face
again, he belongs to me! He is mine, and no other woman can take him
from me."
A strange, mysterious, shadowy smile settled on her pallid features,
and faintly and dreamily she repeated:
"And yet I know past all doubting, truly--A knowledge greater than
grief can dim--I know as he loved, he will love me duly, Yea, better,
e'en better than I love him. And as I walk by the vast, calm river, The
awful river so dread to see, I say, 'Thy breadth and thy depth for ever
Are bridged by his thoughts that cross to me.'"
Her lashes drooped, her head fell back against the top of the chair,
and she lost all her woes until Felix's voice roused her, and she saw
the frightened boy standing at her side, shaking her hand and calling
piteously upon her.
"Oh! I thought you were dead! You looked so white and felt so cold. Are
you very sick? Shall I go for mamma?"
For a moment she looked in his face with a perplexed, bewildered
expression, then made an effort to rise.
"I suppose that I must have fainted, for I had a terrible pain here,
and--" She laid her hand over her heart.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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