Alabama -- History -- Civil War, 1861-1865 -- Fiction; Domestic fiction; War stories
"Mr. Manning, the assertion that you regard your life as imperfect,
incomplete, without the feeble complement of mine--that you find your
greatest happiness in my society, is the most flattering, the most
gratifying tribute which ever has been, or ever can be paid to my
intellect. It is a triumph indeed; and, because unsought, surely it is
a pardonable pride that makes my heart throb. This assurance of your
high regard is the brightest earthly crown I shall ever wear. But, sir,
you err egregiously in supposing that you would be happy wedded to a
woman who did not love you. You think now that if we were only married,
my constant presence in your home, my implicit confidence in your
character, would fully content you; but here you fail to understand
your own heart, and I know that the consciousness that my affection was
not yours would make you wretched. No, no! my dear, noble friend! God
never intended us for each other. I can not go to the Old World with
you. I know how peculiarly precarious is my tenure of life, and how
apparently limited is my time for work in this world, but I am content.
I try to labor faithfully, listening for the summons of Him who notices
even the death of sparrows. God will not call me hence, so long as He
has any work for me to do on earth; and when I become useless, and can
no longer serve Him here, I do not wish to live. Through Christ I am
told, 'Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.' Mr.
Manning, I am not ignorant of, nor indifferent to, my physical
condition; but, thank God! I can say truly, I am not troubled, neither
am I afraid, and my faith is--
'All as God wills, who wisely heeds,
To give or to withhold,
And knoweth more of all my needs
Than all my prayers have told.'"
The editor took off his glasses and wiped them, but the dimness was in
his eyes; and after a minute, during which he recovered his old
calmness, and hushed the holy chime, muffling the Folge Fond Bells, he
said gayly and quietly:
"Edna, one favor, at least, you will grant me. The death of a relative
in Louisiana has placed me in possession of an ample fortune, and I
wish you to take my little Lila and travel for several years. You are
the only woman I ever knew to whom I would entrust her and her
education, and it would gratify me beyond expression to feel that I had
afforded you the pleasure which can not fail to result from such a
tour. Do not be too proud to accept a little happiness from my hands."
"Thank you, my generous, noble friend! I gratefully accept a great deal
of happiness at this instant, but your kind offer I must decline. I can
not leave Felix."
He sighed, took his hat, and his eyes ran over the face and figure of
the governess.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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