Great Britain -- History -- Civil War, 1642-1649 -- Fiction
Strange to say, however, poorly grounded as was the original interest he
had taken in her, and little as he was capable of understanding her, he
soon began, even while yet confident in his proved advantages of person
and mind and power persuasive, to be vaguely wrought upon by the
superiority of her nature. With this the establishment of her innocence
in the eyes of the household had little to do; indeed, that threatened
at first to destroy something of her attraction; a passionate, yielding,
even erring nature, had of necessity for such as he far more enchantment
than a nature that ruled its own emotions, and would judge such as might
be unveiled to it. Neither was it that her cold courtesy and kind
indifference roused him to call to the front any of the more valuable
endowments of his being; something far better had commenced:
unconsciously to himself, the dim element of truth that flitted vaporous
about in him had begun to respond to the great pervading and enrounding
orb of her verity. He began to respect her, began to feel drawn as if by
another spiritual sense than that of which Amanda had laid hold. He
found in her an element of authority. The conscious influences to whose
triumph he had been so perniciously accustomed, had proved powerless
upon her, while those that in her resided unconscious were subduing him.
Her star was dominant over his.
At length he began to be aware that this was no light preference, no
passing fancy, but something more serious than he had hitherto
known--that in fact he was really, though uncomfortably and
unsatisfactorily, in love with her. He felt she was not like any other
girl he had made his shabby love to, and would have tried to make better
to her, but she kept him at a distance, and that he began to find
tormenting. One day, for example, meeting her in the court as she was
crossing towards the keep,--
'I would thou didst take apprentices, cousin,' he said, 'so I might be
one, and learn of thee the mysteries of thy trade.'
'Wherefore, cousin?'
'That I might spare thee something of thy labour.'
'That were no kindness. I am not like thee; I find labour a thing to be
courted rather than spared; I am not overwrought.'
Scudamore gazed into her grey eyes, but found there nothing to
contradict, nothing to supplement the indifference of her words. There
was no lurking sparkle of humour, no acknowledgment of kindness. There
was a something, but he could not understand it, for his poor shapeless
soul might not read the cosmic mystery embodied in their depths. He
stammered--who had never known himself stammer before, broke the joints
of an ill-fitted answer, swept the tiles with the long feather in his
hat, and found himself parted from her, with the feeling that he had not
of himself left her, but had been borne away by some subtle force
emanating from her.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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