Great Britain -- History -- Civil War, 1642-1649 -- Fiction
'I pray, sir, can you tell me if mistress Dorothy knoweth it was before
Heywood I fell?' said Rowland at length.
'I know not; but methinks had she known, I should sooner have heard the
thing myself. Who indeed should tell her, for Shafto knew it not? And
why should she conceal it?'
'I cannot tell, my lord: she is not like other ladies.'
'She is like all good ladies in this, that she speaketh the truth: why
then not ask her?'
'I have had no opportunity, my lord. I have not seen her since I left to
join the army.'
'Tut, tut!' said his lordship, and frowned a little. 'I thought not the
damsel had been over nice. She might well have favoured a wounded knight
with a visit.'
'She is not to blame. It is my own fault,' sighed Rowland.
The marquis looked at him for a moment pitifully, but made no answer,
and presently took his leave.
He went straight to Dorothy, and expostulated with her. She answered him
no farther or otherwise than was simply duteous, but went at once to see
Scudamore.
Mistress Watson was in the room when she entered, but left it
immediately: she had never been in spirit reconciled to Dorothy: their
relation had in it too much of latent rebuke for her. So Dorothy found
herself alone with her cousin.
He was but the ghost of the gay, self-satisfied, good-natured, jolly
Rowland. Pale and thin, with drawn face and great eyes, he held out a
wasted hand to Dorothy, and looked at her, not pitifully, but
despairingly. He was one of those from whom take health and animal
spirits, and they feel to themselves as if they had nothing. Nor have
they in themselves anything. With those he could have borne what are
called hardships fairly well; those gone, his soul sat aghast in an
empty house.
'My poor cousin!' said Dorothy, touched with profound compassion at
sight of his lost look. But he only gazed at her, and said nothing. She
took the hand he did not offer, and held it kindly in hers. He burst
into tears, and she gently laid it again on the coverlid.
'I know you despise me, Dorothy,' he sobbed, 'and you are right: I
despise myself.'
'You have been a good soldier to the king, Rowland,' said Dorothy, 'and
he has acknowledged it fitly.'
'I care nothing for king or kingdom, Dorothy. Nothing is worth caring
for. Do not mistake me. I am not going to talk presumptuously. I love
not thee now, Dorothy. I never did love thee, and thou dost right to
despise me, for I am unworthy. I would I were dead. Even the king's
majesty hath been no whit the better for me, but rather the worse; for
another man,--one, I mean, who was not mounted on a stolen mare--would
have performed his hest unhindered of foregone fault.'
'Thou didst not think thou wast doing wrong when thou stolest the mare,'
said Dorothy, seeking to comfort him.
'How know'st thou that, Dorothy? There was a spot in my heart that felt
ashamed all the time.'
'He that is sorry is already pardoned, I think, cousin. Then what thou
hast done evil is gone and forgotten.'
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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