Great Britain -- History -- Civil War, 1642-1649 -- Fiction
'The last time Dr. Bayly came to see me he read those words, and I
thought within myself all the time of the only enemy I had, and tried to
forgive him, but could not.'
'Had he then wronged thee so deeply?'
'I know not, indeed, what women call wronged--least of all what thou,
who art not like other women, wouldst judge; but this thing seems to me
strange--that when I look on thee, Dorothy, one moment it seems as if
for thy sake I could forgive him anything--except that he slew me not
outright, and the next that never can I forgive him even that wherein he
never did me any wrong.'
'What! hatest thou then him that struck thee down in fair fight? Sure
thou art of meaner soul than I judged thee. What man in battle-field
hates his enemy, or thinks it less than enough to do his endeavour to
slay him?'
'Know'st thou whom thou wouldst have me forgive? He who struck me down
was thy friend, Richard Heywood.'
'Then he hath his mare again?' cried Dorothy, eagerly.
Rowland's face fell, and she knew that she had spoken heartlessly--knew
also that, for all his protestations, Rowland yet cherished the love she
had so plainly refused. But the same moment she knew something more.
For, by the side of Rowland, in her mind's eye, stood Henry Vaughan, as
wise as Rowland was foolish, as accomplished and learned as Rowland was
narrow and ignorant; but between them stood Richard, and she knew a
something in her which was neither tenderness nor reverence, and yet
included both. She rose in some confusion, and left the chamber.
This good came of it, that from that moment Scudamore was satisfied she
loved Heywood, and, with much mortification, tried to accept his
position. Slowly his health began to return, and slowly the deeper life
that was at length to become his began to inform him.
Heartless and poverty-stricken as he had hitherto shown himself, the
good in him was not so deeply buried under refuse as in many a
better-seeming man. Sickness had awakened in him a sense of
requirement--of need also, and loneliness, and dissatisfaction. He grew
ashamed of himself and conscious of defilement. Something new began to
rise above and condemn the old. There are who would say that the change
was merely the mental condition resulting from and corresponding to
physical weakness; that repentance, and the vision of the better which
maketh shame, is but a mood, sickly as are the brain and nerves which
generate it; but he who undergoes the experience believes he knows
better, and denies neither the wild beasts nor the stars, because they
roar and shine through the dark.
Mr. Vaughan came to see him again and again, and with the concurrence of
Dr. Spott, prescribed for him. As the spring approached he grew able to
leave his room. The ladies of the family had him to their parlours to
pet and feed, but he was not now so easily to be injured by kindness as
when he believed in his own merits.
CHAPTER XLVIII.
HONOURABLE DISGRACE.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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