Belport, Belport! It is the one wish of her existence; the theme of
her daily prayer. Has she an idea that she may there be in the way of
hearing of _him_, perhaps of seeing him? Or is it that she would bid
adieu to this place, hoping to bid adieu at the same time to its
remembrances?
She is so much better! She comes downstairs now, dressed as she used
to be, except the hair. It is braided under a pretty little lace cap:
the French are such people for keeping the head warm! Often on her
shoulders she wears a light cashmere shawl: the one she put on the
night when she attempted to go away with Mr. St. John. "I wonder if
she thinks of it?" I said yesterday to Rose. "What a donkey you are!"
was the complimentary reply: "as if she did not think of that
miserable night and its mishaps continually!"
We now know that Mr. St. John is in London. In looking over the
_Times_--which comes regularly to Madame de Beaufoy--I saw his name
amidst a host of others, as having attended a public meeting:
Frederick St. John, Esq., of Castle Wafer. I put the paper into
Adeline's hand, pointing to the list, and then quitted the room. On my
return to it the journal was lying on the table, and her face was
buried amidst the cushions of the armchair.
Is this improvement to turn out a deceitful one? It might not, but for
the ever-restless, agitated mind. A calm without, a torrent within!
The weakness is no longer apparent; the cough is nearly gone. But she
is inert and indifferent as ever; buried within herself. This
apparently languid apathy, this total indifference to life and its
daily concerns, is set down by her friends to bodily weakness; and so
they let it remain unchecked and unaroused, and she indulges,
unmolested, in all the bitter feelings of a breaking heart.
6_th_.--These last few fine days have afforded the pretext for
complying with Adeline's wish, and here we are, once more, at Belport,
she wonderfully improved. Still better, still better! for how long?
Rose has resumed her wild gaiety of spirits, and says she will sing a
_Te Deum_ for having left the dreary old château and its ghosts behind
us.
A bed has been placed on the first-floor for Adeline, in the back
drawing-room. This is better; for she can now reach the front
drawing-room, where we sit, without being exposed to the cold air of
the staircase. And should she be confined to her room at the last, as
may be expected, it will be more convenient for the servants; and
indeed in all respects.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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