St Nicotine of the Peace PipeHeward, Edward Vincent
History
St Nicotine of the Peace Pipe
Heward, Edward Vincent
Smoking; Tobacco
How dearly the late Poet Laureate, Tennyson, treasured his briar-root;
how with his ‘silent friend’ he would seek seclusion, drawing unfailing
solace from an inexhaustible tobacco jar, belongs to the social history
of our times. In the fulness of their hearts, lovers of the weed have
declared that in it they have found ‘the only thing in life that fumes
without fretting.’ If to this excellence be added the further one of
assuaging the fretful, we shall have the whole philosophy of smoking in
a nutshell. Because of these rare virtues paterfamilias will now and
then forego the social distinction of occupying the paternal chair that
he may enjoy the comforts of a quiet pipe away from all the blessed
cherubs of domesticity. For these, the idolised bachelor, weary of loving
attentions (the ungrateful being!) will watch his opportunity for flight,
and slipping away unseen, will make off to his favourite hiding-place.
Briskly entering his den he surveys with twinkling eye his own undisputed
domain, with pipe-rack and weeds, benches and books, rifle and rod, all
in undisturbed (dis)order. Tenderly he handles his favourite calumet,
bestows the pabulum of peace, and awaits the sweet solace which will soon
dispel the worries and passions born of strife in life’s warfare.
Many an over-wrought brain has thus received the balm that stays the rash
hand or the fevered spirit from hurrying to a reckless end. Surely no one
need wonder at the smoker’s devotion to his pipe, nor be so uncharitable
as to class his troubles and trials and their happy deliverance with
the mere fancies of a lazy man in search of excuse for an idle habit.
Let us not be hard on the smoker. Do we not all know men who would fain
indulge in a social whiff now and then with their friends were it not for
the warnings of an inward monitor who will not be trifled with? The man
who had conquered Europe was himself conquered by a pipe of tobacco. An
oriental pipe of wonderful beauty and inventive skill was presented to
Napoleon by a Persian ambassador. Though he was an immoderate snuff-taker
he had never smoked, but he would try this pipe. It was duly charged with
tobacco and lighted, says Constant, but His Majesty, instead of drawing
up the smoke in the usual way, merely opened and shut his mouth with
mechanical regularity. Losing patience, he exclaimed, ‘Devils! There
is no result!’ It was remarked that he had made the attempt badly, and
he was shown how to smoke properly. But the Emperor simply reverted to
his automatic performance; the pipe went out, and Constant was desired
to relight it. This done, he again instructed his master in the proper
method of smoking. Determined not to be balked again, the Emperor
resolutely drew up the smoke, and, swallowing it, it came out by his
nostrils and blinded him. As soon as he recovered breath he cried out,
‘Away with it! Oh, the hog! Oh, my stomach! My stomach turns!’ This was
Napoleon’s first and last experience of smoking. Then let those whom St
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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