Black humor; Country life -- Fiction; Historical fiction; Scotland -- Fiction
Mr. Touchwood, when surveyed more at leisure, was a short, stout, active
man, who, though sixty years of age and upwards, retained in his sinews
and frame the elasticity of an earlier period. His countenance expressed
self-confidence, and something like a contempt for those who had neither
seen nor endured so much as he had himself. His short black hair was
mingled with grey, but not entirely whitened by it. His eyes were
jet-black, deep-set, small, and sparkling, and contributed, with a short
turned-up nose, to express an irritable and choleric habit. His
complexion was burnt to a brick-colour by the vicissitudes of climate,
to which it had been subjected; and his face, which at the distance of a
yard or two seemed hale and smooth, appeared, when closely examined, to
be seamed with a million of wrinkles, crossing each other in every
direction possible, but as fine as if drawn by the point of a very
small needle.[I-20] His dress was a blue coat and buff waistcoat, half
boots remarkably well blacked, and a silk handkerchief tied with
military precision. The only antiquated part of his dress was a cocked
hat of equilateral dimensions, in the button-hole of which he wore a
very small cockade. Mrs. Dods, accustomed to judge of persons by their
first appearance, said, that in the three steps which he made from the
door to the tea-table, she recognised, without the possibility of
mistake, the gait of a person who was well to pass in the world; "and
that," she added with a wink, "is what we victuallers are seldom
deceived in. If a gold-laced waistcoat has an empty pouch, the plain
swan's-down will be the brawer of the twa."
"A drizzling morning, good madam," said Mr. Touchwood, as with a view of
sounding what sort of company he had got into.
"A fine saft morning for the crap, sir," answered Mrs. Dods, with equal
solemnity.
"Right, my good madam; _soft_ is the very word, though it has been some
time since I heard it. I have cast a double hank about the round world
since I last heard of a soft[I-21] morning."
"You will be from these parts, then?" said the writer, ingeniously
putting a case, which, he hoped, would induce the stranger to explain
himself. "And yet, sir," he added, after a pause, "I was thinking that
Touchwood is not a Scottish name, at least that I ken of."
"Scottish name?--no," replied the traveller; "but a man may have been in
these parts before, without being a native--or, being a native, he may
have had some reason to change his name--there are many reasons why men
change their names."
"Certainly, and some of them very good ones," said the lawyer; "as in
the common case of an heir of entail, where deed of provision and
tailzie is maist ordinarily implemented by taking up name and arms."
"Ay, or in the case of a man having made the country too hot for him
under his own proper appellative," said Mr. Touchwood.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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