Black humor; Country life -- Fiction; Historical fiction; Scotland -- Fiction
The talisman by which all this desirable alteration was wrought,
consisted partly in small presents, partly in constant attention. The
liberality of the singular old gentleman gave him a perfect right to
scold when he saw things wrong; the domestics, who had fallen into total
sloth and indifference, began to exert themselves under Mr. Touchwood's
new system of rewards and surveillance; and the minister, half
unconscious of the cause, reaped the advantage of the exertions of his
busy friend. Sometimes he lifted his head, when he heard workmen
thumping and bouncing in the neighbourhood of his study, and demanded
the meaning of the clatter which annoyed him; but on receiving for
answer that it was by order of Mr. Touchwood, he resumed his labours,
under the persuasion that all was well.
But even the Augean task of putting the Manse in order, did not satisfy
the gigantic activity of Mr. Touchwood. He aspired to universal dominion
in the Aultoun of St. Ronan's; and, like most men of an ardent temper,
he contrived, in a great measure, to possess himself of the authority
which he longed after. Then was there war waged by him with all the
petty, but perpetual nuisances, which infest a Scottish town of the old
stamp--then was the hereditary dunghill, which had reeked before the
window of the cottage for fourscore years, transported behind the
house--then was the broken wheelbarrow, or unserviceable cart, removed
out of the footpath--the old hat, or blue petticoat, taken from the
window into which it had been stuffed, to "expel the winter's flaw," was
consigned to the gutter, and its place supplied by good perspicuous
glass. The means by which such reformation was effected, were the same
as resorted to in the Manse--money and admonition. The latter given
alone would have met little attention--perhaps would have provoked
opposition--but, softened and sweetened by a little present to assist
the reform recommended, it sunk into the hearts of the hearers, and in
general overcame their objections. Besides, an opinion of the Nabob's
wealth was high among the villagers; and an idea prevailed amongst them,
that, notwithstanding his keeping no servants or equipage, he was able
to purchase, if he pleased, half the land in the country. It was not
grand carriages and fine liveries that made heavy purses, they rather
helped to lighten them; and they said, who pretended to know what they
were talking about, that old Turnpenny, and Mr. Bindloose to boot, would
tell down more money on Mr. Touchwood's mere word, than upon the joint
bond of half the fine folk at the Well. Such an opinion smoothed every
thing before the path of one, who showed himself neither averse to give
nor to lend; and it by no means diminished the reputation of his wealth,
that in transactions of business he was not carelessly negligent of his
interest, but plainly showed he understood the value of what he was
parting with. Few, therefore, cared to withstand the humours of a
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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