Black humor; Country life -- Fiction; Historical fiction; Scotland -- Fiction
"I am told," continued Touchwood, "one Jekyl acted as a second to them
both on the occasion--a proper fellow, sir--one of those fine gentlemen
whom we pay for polishing the pavement in Bond Street, and looking at a
thick shoe and a pair of worsted stockings, as if the wearer were none
of their paymasters. However, I believe the Commander-in-Chief is like
to discard him when he hears what has happened."
"Sir!" said Jekyl, fiercely--then, recollecting the folly of being angry
with an original of his companion's description, he proceeded more
coolly, "You are misinformed--Captain Jekyl knew nothing of any such
matter as you refer to--you talk of a person you know nothing
of--Captain Jekyl is----(Here he stopped a little, scandalized, perhaps,
at the very idea of vindicating himself to such a personage from such a
charge.)
"Ay, ay," said the traveller, filling up the chasm in his own way, "he
is not worth our talking of, certainly--but I believe he knew as much of
the matter as either you or I do, for all that."
"Sir, this is either a very great mistake, or wilful impertinence,"
answered the officer. "However absurd or intrusive you may be, I cannot
allow you, either in ignorance or incivility, to use the name of Captain
Jekyl with disrespect.--I am Captain Jekyl, sir."
"Very like, very like," said Touchwood, with the most provoking
indifference; "I guessed as much before."
"Then, sir, you may guess what is likely to follow, when a gentleman
hears himself unwarrantably and unjustly slandered," replied Captain
Jekyl, surprised and provoked that his annunciation of name and rank
seemed to be treated so lightly. "I advise you, sir, not to proceed too
far upon the immunities of your age and insignificance."
"I never presume farther than I have good reason to think necessary,
Captain Jekyl," answered Touchwood, with great composure. "I am too old,
as you say, for any such idiotical business as a duel, which no nation I
know of practises but our silly fools of Europe--and then, as for your
switch, which you are grasping with so much dignity, that is totally out
of the question. Look you, young gentleman; four-fifths of my life have
been spent among men who do not set a man's life at the value of a
button on his collar--every person learns, in such cases, to protect
himself as he can; and whoever strikes me must stand to the
consequences. I have always a brace of bull-dogs about me, which put age
and youth on a level. So suppose me horsewhipped, and pray, at the same
time, suppose yourself shot through the body. The same exertion of
imagination will serve for both purposes."
So saying, he exhibited a very handsome, highly finished, and
richly-mounted pair of pistols.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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