And then he began to plead. "Please, oh, please, whoever you are, won't you forgive me and let me go? I wouldn't harm a girl for the world. I'll be fired--I mean expelled from college--I'll be disgraced for life. I'll--" "Stop! While it may be true that you did not break into my room with intent to rob or injure a defenseless woman, yet, by your own confession you came to torment a weaker person. You came to haze a freshman. And when my husband--" "Have mercy, have mercy. If I'm fired from college I'll be disgraced for life. All my prospects will be blighted; my life will be ruined, and my mother's heart broken." She gave a little hysterical sob:-- "For your poor mother's sake, go!" "Oh, thank you with all my heart. My mother would too if she could know. I don't deserve to be treated so well. I shall always think of you as my merciful benefactress. I can never forgive myself for causing you pain. Oh, thank you," and Buckley the proud sophomore groveled out of the room. Next morning he received a letter, which read as follows: "Just as a tall woman looks short in a man's make-up, so does a short man look tall in a woman's make-up, and you should know that blondes are hard to recognize in brunette wigs. You ought to know that a real girl wouldn't have behaved quite that way. You see you still have a number of things to learn, even though you are a soph. Hoping that you will learn to forgive yourself, I am, "Your merciful benefactress, "H. G. VALIANT." THE HINDOO'S PARADISE ANONYMOUS A Hindoo died, a happy thing to do, When twenty years united to a shrew. Released, he hopefully for entrance cries Before the gates of Brahma's paradise. "Hast thou been through purgatory?" Brahma said, "No, but I've been married," and he hung his head. "Come in, come in, and welcome too, my son, Marriage and purgatory are as one." In bliss extreme he entered heaven's door, And knew the peace he ne'er had known before. But scarce had he entered the garden fair, When another Hindoo asked admission there. The self-same question, Brahma asked, "Hast thou been through purgatory?" "No, what then?" "Thou canst not enter," did the God reply. "Why, he that entered first was there no more than I." "All that is true, but he has married been, And so on earth, had suffered from all sin." "Married, 'tis well, I've been married twice." "Begone, we'll have no fools in Paradise." IF I KNEW ANONYMOUS If I knew the box where the smiles are kept, No matter how large the key, Or strong the bolt, I would try so hard, 'Twould open, I know, for me. Then over the land and sea broadcast, I'd scatter the smiles to play, That the children's faces might hold them fast For many and many a day.