It was one o’clock on Christmas morning, or more. Hours ago Morris had
gone though his rites, the ritual that he had invented or discovered—in
its essence, simple and pathetic enough—whereby he strove to bring
himself to the notice of the dead, and to fit himself to see or hear
the dead. Such tentative mysticism as served his turn need not be
written down, but its substance can be imagined by many. Then, through
an exercise of his will, he had invoked the strange, trance-like state
which has been described. The soft waves flowing from an unknown source
had beat upon his brain, and with them came the accustomed phenomena;
the sense of some presence near, impending, yet impotent; suggesting by
analogy and effect the misdirected efforts of a blind person seeking
something in a room, or the painful attempt of one almost deaf,
striving to sift out words from a confused murmur of sounds. The
personality of Stella seemed to pervade him, yet he could see nothing,
could hear nothing. The impression might be from within, not from
without. Perhaps, after all, it was nothing but a dream, a miasma, a
mirage, drawn by his own burning thought from the wastes and marshes of
his mind peopled with illusive hopes and waterlogged by memories. Or it
might be true and real; as yet he could not be certain of its origin.
The fit passed, delightful in its overpowering emptiness, but
unsatisfying as all that had gone before it, and left him weak. For a
while Morris crouched by the fire, for he had grown cold, and could not
think accurately. Then his vital, human strength returned, and, as
seemed to him to be fitting upon this night of all nights, he began one
by one to recall the events of that day four years ago, when Stella was
still a living woman.
The scene in the Dead Church, the agonies of farewell; he summoned them
detail by detail, word by word; her looks, the changes of her
expression, the movements of her hands and eyes and lips; he counted
and pictured each precious souvenir. The sound of her last sentences
also, as the blind, senseless aerophone had rendered them just before
the end, one by one they were repeated in his brain. There stood the
very instrument; but, alas! it was silent now, its twin lay buried in
the sea with her who had worked it.
Morris grew weary, the effort of memory was exhausting, and after it he
was glad to think of nothing. The fire flickered, the clear light of
the electric lamps shone upon the hard, sixteenth-century faces of the
painted angels in the ancient roof; without the wind soughed, and
through it rose the constant, sullen roar of the sea.
Tired, disappointed, unhappy, and full of self-reproaches, for when the
madness was not on him he knew his sin, Morris sank into a doze. Now
music crept softly into his sleep; sweet, thrilling music, causing him
to open his eyes and smile. It was Christmas Eve, and doubtless he
heard the village waifs.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Elsewhere in the archive
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account