England -- Fiction; Invalids -- Fiction; Man-woman relationships -- Fiction
Stellamaris, for all the imperfections inseparable from humanity, had
been a dweller about the Throne in her mystical Land of Illusion. Evil,
or the whisper of evil, or the thought of evil, had, by the Unwritten
Law, never been allowed to enter the sea-chamber. She issued therefrom,
like the unfortunate seraph, without a standard. Her impressions of life
(from our worldly point of view) were grotesque and unjust. John was
condemned by her unheard. Like the seraph, she was lost and horrified.
But, unlike the seraph--and here lies the tragedy, for no one of us
would break his heart over the horrification of a seraph, as he has only
to fly back whence he came to be perfectly happy--unlike the seraph,
Stellamaris was just poor human clay, and she could not fly back to her
Land of Illusion, because it did not exist. It was her fate to lead the
common life of imperfect mortals, feeling the common human physical
and spiritual pangs, with all the delicate tendrils of her nature
inextricably intertwined in human things, and to focus the myriad
sensations afforded by the bewildering panorama of life from the false
and futile point of view of the seraph. In consequence, she suffered
agonies inconceivable--agonies all the more torturing because she could
not turn for alleviation to any human being. She shrank from contact
with her kind, wandered lonely in the garden, save for the attendance of
the old dog, and sat for hours by the window of the sea-chamber looking
with yearning eyes at sea and sky.
But no more could sea and sky, cloud and sunset, foam and mist, take
Stellamaris into their communion. She had put on mortality, and they had
cast her out from their elemental sphere. The sea-gulls flashed their
wings in the sun and circled up the cliff and hovered at her window,
fixing her with their round, yellow eyes, but they were no longer the
interpreting angels of wind and wave. The glory of all the mysteries had
faded into the light of common day, and the memory of them was only
the confused and unrecallable tangle of a dream. And Stellamaris cried
passionately in her heart for the days when she had not set foot in
the world of men, and when she lived somewhere out there in the salt
sea-spray, and felt her soul flooded with happiness great and exquisite.
But such days could never dawn again. She, too, had become bone and
flesh of an abominable world.
Herold came down again, and found her white and pinched, with dark lines
beneath her eyes. She scarcely spoke, replied in monosyllables, only
made such appearances as the conventions of life demanded, and craftily
avoided meeting him alone. She was no longer Stellamaris.
“What 's the matter with her, for pity's sake?” asked Herold.
“She has not yet got over that touch of the sun,” said Sir Oliver.
“This has nothing to do with the sun,” Herold declared.
Lady Blount sighed. “Perhaps it 's a phase. Young girls often pass
through it, though earlier. But Stella is different.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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