England -- Fiction; Invalids -- Fiction; Man-woman relationships -- Fiction
She went to the southern window, rested her elbows on the sill, and
pressed the finger-tips of both hands against her forehead. The soft
south-west wind, bringing the salt from the dancing sea, played about
her hair. Unity had laid down her life to save those she loved. So had
Christ done--given his life for humanity. But Christ had not killed a
human being, no matter how murderous, and had not taken his own life.
No, no; she must not mix up things irreconcilable. She faced the room
again. What did people do when they killed? What were the common,
practical steps that they took to gain their ends? Her mind suddenly
grew vague. Herold had spoken of newspapers. She must see them; she
must know everything. Life was deadly conflict, and knowledge the only
weapon. For a few seconds she stood in the middle of the room, her
young bosom heaving, her dark eyes wide with the diamond glints in their
depths. Life was a deadly conflict. She would fight, she would conquer.
Others miserably weaker than herself survived. Pride and race and
splendid purity of soul sheathed her in cold armour. A jingle, separated
from context, came into her mind, and in many ways it was a child's
mind:
Then spake Sir Thomas Howard,
“ 'Fore God, I am no coward.”
“'Fore God, I am no coward,” she repeated, and with her delicate head
erect she went out and down the stairs and entered the dining-room.
There she found Sir Oliver and Lady Blount sitting at a neglected
breakfast. The old faces strove pitifully to smile. Stella kissed them
in turn, and with her hand lingering on the old man's arm, she gave him
Herold's letter.
“Is it in the newspapers?” she asked.
“What, what, my dear?” said Sir Oliver, adjusting his glasses on his
nose with fumbling fingers.
She looked from one to the other. Then her eyes fell on the morning
papers lying on the table. They were folded so that a great head-line
stared hideously.
“Oh, darling, don't read it--for Heaven's sake do n't read it,” cried
Lady Blount, clutching the nearer newspaper.
But Stella took up the other. “I must, dearest,” she said very gently.
“Walter has written to me; but he could not tell me everything.”
She moved to the window that overlooked the pleasant garden, and with
steady eyes read the vulgar and soul-withering report, while the two old
people, head to head, puzzled out Herold's scrawl.
When she had finished, she laid the paper quietly at the foot of
the table and came and stood between them, revolted by the callous
publication of names, almost physically sickened by the realistic
picture of the scene, her head whirling. She caught hold of the back of
Sir Oliver's chair.
“The newspaper lies,” she said, “but it does n't know any better. Walter
tells us why she did it.”
Sir Oliver, elbow on table, held the letter in his shaking grasp. It
dropped, and his head sank on his hand.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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