"I will not follow the story of the days. I was very happy, except
when I felt too keenly how unworthy I was of Kate Thornbury; not that
she meant to make me feel it, for she was never other than kind; but
she was such that I could not help feeling it. I gathered courage,
however, and before three days were over, I began to tell her all my
slowly reviving memories of the place, with my childish adventures
associated with this and that room or outhouse or spot in the grounds;
for the longer I was in the place the more my old associations with it
revived, till I was quite astonished to find how much of my history in
connection with Culverwood had been thoroughly imprinted on my memory.
She never showed, at least, that she was weary of my stories; which,
however interesting to me, must have been tiresome to any one who did
not sympathize with what I felt towards my old nest. From room to room
we rambled, talking or silent; and nothing could have given me a
better chance, I believe, with a heart like your mother's. I think it
was not long before she began to like me, at least, and liking had
every opportunity of growing into something stronger, if only she too
did not come to the conclusion that I was unworthy of her.
"My uncle received me like the jolly old tar that he was--welcomed me
to the old ship--hoped we should make many a voyage together--and that
I would take the run of the craft--all but in one thing.
"'You see, my boy,' he said, 'I married above my station, and I don't
want my wife's friends to say that I laid alongside of her to get hold
of her daughter's fortune. No, no, my boy; your old uncle has too much
salt water in him to do a dog's trick like that. So you take care of
yourself--that's all. She might turn the head of a wiser man than ever
came out of our family.'
"I did not tell my uncle that his advice was already too late; for
that, though it was not an hour since I had first seen her, my head
was so far turned already, that the only way to get it right again,
was to go on turning it in the same direction; though, no doubt, there
was a danger of overhauling the screw. The old gentleman never
referred to the matter again, nor took any notice of our increasing
intimacy; so that I sometimes doubt even now if he could have been in
earnest in the very simple warning he gave me. Fortunately, Lady
Georgiana liked me--at least I thought she did, and that gave me
courage.
"That's all nonsense, my dear," said my mother. "Mamma was nearly as
fond of you as I was; but you never wanted courage."
"I knew better than to show my cowardice, I dare say," returned my
father. "But," he continued, "things grew worse and worse, till I was
certain I should kill myself, or go straight out of my mind, if your
mother would not have me. So it went on for a few days, and Christmas
was at hand.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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