Stories by American Authors (Volume 4)Woolson, Constance Fenimore
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Stories by American Authors (Volume 4)
Woolson, Constance Fenimore
Short stories, American; United States -- Social life and customs -- Fiction
"Well, I've been looking about among those fellows a little," continued
Ananias. "I've kept my eyes and ears open. It's a way I have. And I've
learned a thing or two that it will be to your advantage to know. Yes,
sir! fifty thousand dollars!--the city has voted it and paid it, and
the ring has got it. That's why they are all working so. And depend
upon it, they'll carry the legislature and turn Slowburg out to grass,
unless you wake up and do something."
"By heavens!" exclaimed the iracund mayor, turning red again. "It's a
piece of confounded rascality. It ought to be exposed."
"No, don't expose it," put in Mr. Pullwool, somewhat alarmed. "That
game never works. Of course they'd deny it and swear you down, for
bribing witnesses is as easy as bribing members. I'll tell you what to
do. Beat them at their own weapons. Raise a purse that will swamp
theirs. That's the way the world goes. It's an auction. The highest
bidder gets the article."
Well, the result of it all was that the city magnates of Slowburg did
just what had been done by the city magnates of Fastburg, only, instead
of voting fifty thousand dollars into the pockets of the ring, they
voted sixty thousand. With a portion of this money about him, and with
authority to draw for the rest on proper vouchers, Mr. Pullwool, his
tongue in his cheek, bade farewell to his new allies. As a further
proof of the ready wit and solid impudence of this sublime politician
and model of American statesmen, let me here introduce a brief
anecdote. Leaving Slowburg by the cars, he encountered a gentleman from
Fastburg, who saluted him with tokens of amazement, and said, "What are
you doing here, Mr. Pullwool?"
"Oh, just breaking up these fellows a little," whispered the man with
the Devil in him. "They were making too strong a fight. I had to _see_
some of them," putting one hand behind his back and rubbing his fingers
together, to signify that there had been a taking of bribes. "But be
shady about it. For the sake of the good cause, keep quiet. Mum's the
word."
The reader can imagine how briskly the fight between the two capitals
reopened when Mr. Pullwool re-entered the lobby. Slowburg now had its
adherents, and they struggled like men who saw money in their warfare,
and they struggled not in vain. To cut a very long story very short, to
sum the whole of an exciting drama in one sentence, the legislature
kicked overboard the bill to make Fastburg the sole seat of government.
Nothing had come of the whole row, except that a pair of simple little
cities had spent over one hundred thousand dollars, and that the
capital ring, fighting on both sides and drawing pay from both sides,
had lined its pockets, while the great creator of the ring had crammed
his to bursting.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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