“No, no!” protested Bessie. “It is not success enough for you. No success
is enough for you. You deserve everything that ever man did deserve. And
here you are insulted, trampled upon, and threatened. O, it is shameful
and horrible!”
“My child, you must not help to break me down,” implored Foster, feeling
that he was turning weak under the thought of his calamity.
She started towards him in a spasm of remorse; it was as if she had
suddenly become aware that she had stabbed him; her face and her attitude
were full of self-reproach.
“O my darling, do I make you more wretched?” she asked, “when I would die
for you! when you are my all! O, there is not a minute when I am worthy
of you!”
These interviews left Foster possessed of a few minutes of consolation
and peace, which would soon change into an increased poverty of despair
and rage. For the first few days of his imprisonment his prevalent
feeling was anger. He could not in the least accept his position; he
would not look upon himself as one who was suspected with justice, or
even with the slightest show of probability; he would not admit that
society was pardonable for its doubts of him. He was not satisfied
with mere hope of escape; on the contrary, he considered his accusers
shamefully and wickedly blameworthy; he was angry at them, and wanted to
wreak upon them a stern vengeance.
As the imprisonment dragged on, however, and his mind lost its tension
under the pressure of trouble, there came moments when he did not
quite know himself. It seemed to him that this man, who was charged
with murder, was some one else, for whose character he could not stand
security, and who might be guilty. He almost looked upon him with
suspicion; he half joined the public in condemning him unheard. Perhaps
this mental confusion was the foreshadowing of that insane state of mind
in which prisoners have confessed themselves guilty of murders which they
had not committed, and which have been eventually brought home to others.
There are twilights between reason and unreason. The descent from the one
condition to the other is oftener a slope than a precipice.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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