"Then why did you come to Saratoga?" she asked quickly. "You oughtn't to
have come if you meant nothing by it."
"When I left England I did mean something," I answered, "but I learned a
fact yesterday which has altered my intentions." And then I told her
about Mr. Hitchcock's revelations, and the reflections to which they had
given rise.
Ida listened patiently to all my faint arguments, for I felt my courage
quailing under her pretty sympathetic glance, and then she said
decisively, "You are quite right and yet quite wrong."
"Explain yourself, O Sphinx," I answered, much relieved by her words.
"Why," she said, "you are quite right to hesitate, quite wrong to
decide. I know you don't want my money; I know you don't like it, even:
but I ask you to take me in spite of it. Of course that is dreadfully
unwomanly and unconventional, and so forth, but it is what I ought to
do.... Listen to me, Cyril (may I call you Cyril?). I will tell you why
I want you to marry me. Before I went to Europe, I was dissatisfied with
all these rich American young men. I hated their wealth, and their
selfishness, and their cheap cynicism, and their trotting horses, and
their narrow views, and their monotonous tall-talk, all cast in a
stereotyped American mould, so that whenever I said A, I knew every one
of them would answer B.
"I went to Europe and I met your English young men, with their drawls,
and their pigeon-shooting, and their shaggy ulsters, and their
conventional wit, and their commonplace chaff, and their utter contempt
for women, as though we were all a herd of marketable animals from whom
they could pick and choose whichever pleased them best, according to
their lordly fancy. I would no more give myself up to one of them than I
would marry my cousin, Jefferson Hitchcock. But when I met you first at
Nice, I saw you were a different sort of person. You could think and act
for yourself, and you could appreciate a real living woman who could
think and act too. You taught me what Europe was like. I only knew the
outside, you showed me how to get within the husk. You made me admire
Eza, and Roccabrunna, and Iffley Church. You roused something within me
that I never felt before--a wish to be a different being, a longing for
something more worth living for than diamonds and Saratoga. I know I am
not good enough for you: I don't know enough or read enough or feel
enough; but I don't want to fall back and sink to the level of New York
society. So I have a _right_ to ask you to marry me if you will. I don't
want to be a blue; but I want not to feel myself a social doll. You know
yourself--I see you know it--that I oughtn't to throw away my chance of
making the best of what nature I may have in me. I am only a beginner. I
scarcely half understand your world yet. I can't properly admire your
Botticellis and your Pinturiccios, I know; but I want to admire, I
should like to, and I will try. I want you to take me, because I know
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