Olive sighed again. "I don't know," she said pensively. "I don't feel
sure. I hope I am doing right. In my aspirations every evening I have
desired light on this matter, and have earnestly hoped that I was not
being misled by my own feelings; for, oh, Clarence, I do love you so
dearly, so truly, so absorbingly, that I half fear my love may be taking
me unwittingly astray. I try to curb it; I try to think of it all as the
hierarch tells us we ought to; but in my own heart I sometimes almost
fear that I may be lapsing into the idolatrous love of the old days,
when people married and were given in marriage, and thought only of the
gratification of their own personal emotions and affections, and nothing
of the ultimate good of humanity. Oh, Clarence, don't hate me and
despise me for it; don't turn upon me and scold me: but I love you, I
love you, I love you; oh, I'm afraid I love you almost idolatrously!"
Clarence lifted her small white hand slowly to his lips, with that
natural air of chivalrous respect which came so easily to the young men
of the phalanstery, and kissed it twice over fervidly with quiet
reverence. "Let us go into the music-room, Olive dearest," he said as he
rose; "you are too sad to-night. You shall play me that sweet piece of
Marian's that you love so much; and that will quiet you, darling, from
thinking too earnestly about this serious matter."
II.
Next day, when Clarence had finished his daily spell of work in the
fruit-garden (he was third under-gardener to the community), he went up
to his own study, and wrote out a little notice in due form to be posted
at dinner-time on the refectory door: "Clarence and Olive ask leave of
the phalanstery to enter with one another into free contract of holy
matrimony." His pen trembled a little in his hand as he framed that
familiar set form of words (strange that he had read it so often with so
little emotion, and wrote it now with so much: we men are so selfish!);
but he fixed it boldly with four small brass nails on the regulation
notice-board, and waited, not without a certain quiet confidence, for
the final result of the communal council.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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