And the young man asked, "Why, how did you know?" "It is not always possible to explain these divinations. Such flashes of imaginative clairvoyance just incommunicably come to me sometimes." He considered this. He said, with a droll sort of awe, "Probably you do think of things quicker after you have been writing so long--" I shook my head morosely. "Quite the contrary." "And of course you have written so many books that--You see, I naturally read them, on account of our similarity in names--" "You liked them, I hope?" Very rarely have I seen any young man counterfeit enthusiasm less convincingly. "Why, how can you ask that, I wonder! when everybody knows that your books, sir--!" "Come, come!" I heartened him, "I have been reviewed a great deal, remember! The production of articles as to my plagiarisms and obscenities ranks as a national industry. Very lately Judge Leonard Doughty[14] exposed me to all Texas as a chancre-laden rat whose ancestry had mixed and simmered in the devil's cauldron of Middle Europe. And, besides, since Professor Fred L. Pattee[15] let the news get out, in perfectly public print, that I am dead and my soul is already in hell, there does not seem much left for any moderately optimistic person to be afraid of." "Well, but," the young man pointed out, "I'm not unbiased. There is so much about me in your books, you see, sir; and you do make me seem sort of funny. You sort of keep poking fun at me." "I know. But I cannot help it. For you appear to me, I confess, the most ridiculous person save one that I have ever known. I am the other person." "Well, I am afraid I don't entirely like your books, sir," he conceded. And I sat looking at him, both amused and saddened. For never until to-night had it occurred to me how unutterably would this especial young man dislike my books if ever he could know of them. And he was trying so hard, too, to be polite about it. § 95 "Why do you do it, sir?" the boy asked now, almost reproachfully. "You get a plenty of pleasure out of life, don't you? and what did you want, anyhow, that you never got?" "Yes: and I don't know," I admitted, seriatim. "Well, then, why don't you write some books that will make people see the world is a pretty good sort of place after all?" "But surely it does not require two persons to point out such an obvious geographical feature? Cannot posterity rely upon you, by and by, to diffuse that truism single-handed?" "I certainly do hope so," he replied. Now his voice changed. "For I would like to write the very nicest sort of books,--like Henry Harland's and Justus Miles Forman's and Anthony Hope's. They would be about beautiful fine girls and really splendid young men, and everything would come out all right in the end, so they could get married, and not be sort of bitter and smart-alecky and depress people the way"--he coughed,--"the way some people do." "Young man," I started out severely, "it is quite evident you are not married--"