Jealousy -- Fiction; Man-woman relationships -- Fiction; Painters -- France -- Fiction; Paris (France) -- Fiction
“I am sketching the face of my _Reverie_, of which I spoke to you when
I asked you whether Annette might pose for me a few moments. It would
render me a great service if I could have her for only an hour to-day.
Will you?”
The Countess hesitated, annoyed, without knowing the reason why. But she
replied:
“Very well, my friend; we shall be with you at four o'clock.”
“Thank you! You are goodness itself!”
He went away to prepare his canvas and study his subject, so that he
need not tire his model too much.
Then the Countess went out alone, on foot, to finish her shopping.
She went down to the great central streets, then walked slowly up the
Boulevard Malesherbes, for she felt as if her limbs were breaking. As
she passed Saint Augustin's, she was seized with a desire to enter the
church and rest. She pushed open the door, sighed with satisfaction in
breathing the cool air of the vast nave, took a chair and sat down.
She was religious as very many Parisians are religious. She believed
in God without a doubt, not being able to admit the existence of the
universe without the existence of a creator. But associating, as does
everyone, the attributes of divinity with the nature of the created
matter that she beheld with her own eyes, she almost personified the
Eternal God with what she knew of His work, without having a very clear
idea as to what this mysterious Maker might really be.
She believed in Him firmly, adored Him theoretically, feared Him very
vaguely, for she did not profess to understand His intentions or His
will, having a very limited confidence in the priests, whom she regarded
merely as the sons of peasants revolting from military service.
Her father, a middle-class Parisian, never had imposed upon her any
particular principles of devotion, and she had lived on thinking little
about religious matters until her marriage. Then, her new station in
life indicating more strictly her apparent duties toward the Church, she
had conformed punctiliously to this light servitude, as do so many of
her station.
She was lady patroness to numerous and very well known infant asylums,
never failed to attend mass at one o'clock on Sundays, gave alms for
herself directly, and for the world by means of an abbe, the vicar of
her parish.
She had often prayed, from a sense of duty, as a soldier mounts guard
at a general's door. Sometimes she had prayed because her heart was
sad, especially when she suspected Olivier of infidelity to her. At such
times, without confiding to Heaven the cause for her appeal, treating
God with the same naïve hypocrisy that is shown to a husband, she asked
Him to succor her. When her father died, long before, and again quite
recently, at her mother's death, she had had violent crises of religious
fervor, and had passionately implored Him who watches over us and
consoles us.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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