Studies in the Psychology of Sex, Volume 2: Sexual InversionEllis, Havelock
Science
Studies in the Psychology of Sex, Volume 2: Sexual Inversion
Ellis, Havelock
Sex; Sex (Psychology)
He is now attracted to youths about 5 or 6 years younger than
himself; they must be good-looking. He has never perverted a boy
not already inclined to homosexuality. In his relationship he
does not feel exclusively like a male or a female: sometimes one,
sometimes the other. He is often liked, he says, because of his
masculine character.
He is fully developed and healthy, well over middle height,
inclined to be plump, with full face and small moustache. He
smokes many cigarettes and cannot get on without them. Though his
manners are very slightly if at all feminine, he acknowledges
many feminine ways. He is fond of jewelry, until lately always
wore a bangle, and likes women's rings; he is very particular
about fine ties, and uses very delicate women's handkerchiefs. He
has always had a taste for music, and sings. He has a special
predilection for green; it is the predominant color in the
decoration of his room, and everything green appeals to him. He
finds that the love of green (and also of violet and purple) is
very widespread among his inverted friends.
HISTORY XIII.--Artist, aged 34. "The earliest sex impression that
I am conscious of," he writes, "is at the age of 9 or 10 falling
in love with a handsome boy who must have been about two years my
senior. I do not recollect ever having spoken to him, but my
desire, so far as I can recall, was that he should seize hold of
and handle me. I have a distinct impression yet of how
pleasurable even physical pain or cruelty would have been at his
hands. (I have noticed that in young children it is often
difficult to differentiate the sexual emotions from what in the
grown up would be definite cruelty.)
"It must have been at about this time that I discovered--entirely
by myself--the act of masturbation. The process grew up quite
naturally, though I cannot but think that the cooped-up life in a
London street and a London school, with want of physical
exercise, as well as want of landscape, color, and beautiful
form, had much to do with it. The tone of the school I was at was
singularly clean, but I question whether the vaunted cleanliness
of tone of day-schools can compensate for the open life and large
discipline of an English public school.
"How far the rather frequent masturbation between the ages of 10
and 13 may have had to do with weakly health I do not know, but
when I was 12 I was taken by my mother to a famous doctor. He
made no inquiries of a sexual nature, but he advised that I
should be sent away from London. He had a sentimental horror of
violent games, etc., for boys, and put aside various suggested
public schools. Finally I was sent to a private school at the
seaside.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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