Studies in the Psychology of Sex, Volume 2: Sexual InversionEllis, Havelock
Science
Studies in the Psychology of Sex, Volume 2: Sexual Inversion
Ellis, Havelock
Sex; Sex (Psychology)
"The whole world for me in my early childhood was peopled with
imaginary beings. While still a young child I would invent
stories and relate them to any listener I could find, one such
story lasting three years. I was an omnivorous reader, but my
favorite reading was poetry. At 7 I could repeat the greater part
of Longfellow's poems; Scott followed; then Milton captivated me
when I was 14; then came Tennyson, Arnold, Swinburne, and Morris.
Later came the Greek and Latin poets. From 7 years on I wrote
verses to my father. Till 8 years I was excessively timid of the
dark and, indeed, of all loneliness. This passed, however, and
developed into an extreme sensitiveness of seeing or meeting
people. Even on a country road I would walk miles out of my way
to avoid meeting the ordinary yokel. At this period my day-dreams
were my favorite occupation. Even to the present day my visions
take up the greater part of my life. Though timid I was not
wanting in courage. At an early age I would fight boys even older
than myself. Later I have risked my life many times in various
parts of Europe. As regards sports, I can do a little of
everything: swimming, riding, fencing, shooting,--a little of
each. Cricket and football I also played passably, but sports
never interested me much. Literature became and is the passion
of my life and for some years has remained my sole occupation.
"At 8 years the sexual inversion began to manifest itself, though
till I had attained 10 years of age I was practically quite
innocent. At 8 years of age, my family removed to another country
and I made the acquaintance of a little boy who attracted me
sexually. We masturbated in company, without any reason except
the pleasure of seeing each other exposed. Then I had connection
with him _in anum_. This really at that time was an exception to
my ordinary tastes which speedily developed into an intense
desire of _fellatio_ and later on of intercrural pleasures. This
latter perhaps may be accounted for by the visit to our house of
a small boy with whom I slept for about a year. Every night
during this period, I had intercrural connection with him twice
and sometimes three times. Then came a consuming passion for all
young boys and very old men. Boys after 14 or 15 ceased to
attract me, more particularly when the hair of the pubes began to
develop. From 8 to 14, when first I had sexual emissions, I
masturbated at every opportunity. From 14 to 27, always once a
day, generally twice and sometimes three times a day. At 27 I
took rooms and formed acquaintance with the family occupying the
house. The boys, one by one, were allowed to sleep with me and I
conceived an extraordinary passion for one of them, an attachment
which lasted till I finally left England. The attachment was much
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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