Studies in the Psychology of Sex, Volume 2: Sexual InversionEllis, Havelock
Science
Studies in the Psychology of Sex, Volume 2: Sexual Inversion
Ellis, Havelock
Sex; Sex (Psychology)
Passionate friendships, of a more or less unconsciously sexual character,
are common even outside and beyond school-life. It frequently happens that
a period during which a young woman falls in love at a distance with some
young man of her acquaintance alternates with periods of intimate
attachment to a friend of her own sex. No congenital inversion is usually
involved. It generally happens, in the end, either that relationship with
a man brings the normal impulse into permanent play, or the steadying of
the emotions in the stress of practical life leads to a knowledge of the
real nature of such feelings and a consequent distaste for them. In some
cases, on the other hand, such relationships, especially when formed after
school-life, are fairly permanent. An energetic emotional woman, not
usually beautiful, will perhaps be devoted to another who may have found
some rather specialized lifework, but who may be very unpractical, and who
has probably a very feeble sexual instinct; she is grateful for her
friends's devotion, but may not actively reciprocate it. The actual
specific sexual phenomena generated in such cases vary very greatly. The
emotion may be latent or unconscious; it may be all on one side; it is
often more or less recognized and shared. Such cases are on the borderland
of true sexual inversion, but they cannot be included within its region.
Sex in these relationships is scarcely the essential and fundamental
element; it is more or less subordinate and parasitic. There is often a
semblance of a sex-relationship from the marked divergence of the friends
in physical and psychic qualities, and the nervous development of one or
both the friends is sometimes slightly abnormal. We have to regard such
relationships as hypertrophied friendships, the hypertrophy being due to
unemployed sexual instinct.
The following narrative is written by a lady who holds a
responsible educational position: "A friend of mine, two or three
years older than myself (I am 31), and living in the same house
with me, has been passing through a very unhappy time. Long
nervous strain connected with this has made her sleep badly, and
apt to wake in terrible depression about 3 o'clock in the
morning. In the early days of our friendship, about eight months
ago, she occasionally at these times took refuge with me. After a
while I insisted on her consulting a doctor, who advised her,
amongst other things, not to sleep alone. Thenceforth for two or
three months I induced her to share my room. After a week or two
she generally shared my bed for a time at the beginning of the
night, as it seemed to help her to sleep.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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