Studies in the Psychology of Sex, Volume 2: Sexual InversionEllis, Havelock
Science
Studies in the Psychology of Sex, Volume 2: Sexual Inversion
Ellis, Havelock
Sex; Sex (Psychology)
At the age of 4 she liked to see the nates of a little girl who
lived near. When she was about 6, the nurse-maid, sitting in the
fields, used to play with her own parts, and told her to do
likewise, saying it would make a baby come; she occasionally
touched herself in consequence, but without producing any effect
of any kind. When she was about 8 she used to see various
nurse-maids uncover their children's sexual parts and show them
to each other. She used to think about this when alone, and also
about whipping. She never cared to play with dolls, and in her
games always took the part of a man. Her first rudimentary
sex-feelings appeared at the age of 8 or 9, and were associated
with dreams of whipping and being whipped, which were most vivid
between the ages of 11 and 14, when they died away on the
appearance of affection for girls. She menstruated at 12.
Her earliest affection, at the age of 13, was for a schoolfellow,
a graceful, coquettish girl with long golden hair and blue eyes.
Her affection displayed itself in performing all sorts of small
services for this girl, in constantly thinking about her, and in
feeling deliciously grateful for the smallest return. At the age
of 14 she had a similar passion for a girl cousin; she used to
look forward with ecstasy to her visits, and especially to the
rare occasions when the cousin slept with her; her excitement was
then so great that she could not sleep, but there was no
conscious sexual excitement. At the age of 15 or 16 she fell in
love with another cousin; her experiences with this girl were
full of delicious sensations; if the cousin only touched her
neck, a thrill went through her body which she now regards as
sexual. Again, at 17, she had an overwhelming, passionate
fascination for a schoolfellow, a pretty, commonplace girl, whom
she idealized and etherealized to an extravagant extent. This
passion was so violent that her health was, to some extent,
impaired; but it was purely unselfish, and there was nothing
sexual in it. On leaving school at the age of 19 she met a girl
of about the same age as herself, very womanly, but not much
attracted to men. This girl became very much attached to her, and
sought to gain her love. After some time Miss H. was attracted by
this love, partly from the sense of power it gave her, and an
intimate relation grew up. This relation became vaguely physical,
Miss H. taking the initiative, but her friend desiring such
relations and taking extreme pleasure in them; they used to touch
and kiss each other tenderly (especially on the _mons veneris_),
with equal ardor. They each experienced a strong pleasurable
feeling in doing this, and sexual erethism, but no orgasm, and it
does not appear that this ever occurred. Their general behavior
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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