Studies in the Psychology of Sex, Volume 3: Analysis of the Sexual Impulse; Love and Pain; The Sexual Impulse in WomenEllis, Havelock
Science
Studies in the Psychology of Sex, Volume 3: Analysis of the Sexual Impulse; Love and Pain; The Sexual Impulse in Women
Ellis, Havelock
Sex; Sex (Psychology)
While in men it is possible to trace a tendency to inflict pain, or the
simulacrum of pain, on the women they love, it is still easier to trace in
women a delight in experiencing physical pain when inflicted by a lover,
and an eagerness to accept subjection to his will. Such a tendency is
certainly normal. To abandon herself to her lover, to be able to rely on
his physical strength and mental resourcefulness, to be swept out of
herself and beyond the control of her own will, to drift idly in delicious
submission to another and stronger will--this is one of the commonest
aspirations in a young woman's intimate love-dreams. In our own age these
aspirations most often only find their expression in such dreams. In ages
when life was more nakedly lived, and emotion more openly expressed, it
was easier to trace this impulse. In the thirteenth century we have found
Marie de France--a French poetess living in England who has been credited
with "an exquisite sense of the generosities and delicacy of the heart,"
and whose work was certainly highly appreciated in the best circles and
among the most cultivated class of her day--describing as a perfect, wise,
and courteous knight a man who practically commits a rape on a woman who
has refused to have anything to do with him, and, in so acting, he wins
her entire love. The savage beauty of New Caledonia furnishes no better
illustration of the fascination of force, for she, at all events, has done
her best to court the violence she undergoes. In Middleton's _Spanish
Gypsy_ we find exactly the same episode, and the unhappy Portuguese nun
wrote: "Love me for ever and make me suffer still more." To find in
literature more attenuated examples of the same tendency is easy.
Shakespeare, whose observation so little escaped, has seldom depicted the
adult passion of a grown woman, but in the play which he has mainly
devoted to this subject he makes Cleopatra refer to "amorous pinches," and
she says in the end: "The stroke of death is as a lover's pinch, which
hurts and is desired." "I think the Sabine woman enjoyed being carried off
like that," a woman remarked in front of Rubens's "Rape of the Sabines,"
confessing that such a method of love-making appealed strongly to
herself, and it is probable that the majority of women would be prepared
to echo that remark.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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