Studies in the Psychology of Sex, Volume 5: Erotic Symbolism; The Mechanism of Detumescence; The Psychic State in PregnancyEllis, Havelock
Science
Studies in the Psychology of Sex, Volume 5: Erotic Symbolism; The Mechanism of Detumescence; The Psychic State in Pregnancy
Ellis, Havelock
Sex; Sex (Psychology)
A.'s husband soon showed his true character; he was in reality a
gaol-bird. He beat her, drank, and even wanted her to go on the
streets to earn money for him. She left him and went home; it was
then she began her theatrical career by entering the ballet. At
intervals her husband, drunk and desperate, would waylay and
threaten her in the street. One day after a rehearsal he
attempted to stab her. She got on in spite of all, being a born
actress, and played small parts in traveling companies. Then E.,
who had also gone on the stage, courted her and she listened to
him, not because she cared for him, but he protected her and
offered her a home. She joined him; but his drunkenness and
sensuality were so gross that he ruined his health and he
attempted to maltreat A. in a nameless way. And whenever she was
in the family way he would leave her alone and half-conscious in
the cellar for days. To add to her misery she had epileptic fits.
Then sometimes they would be out of an engagement and starving.
They had been so hungry as to steal raw potatoes out of a sack
and eat them thus, having no fire. She would often have had
engagements, but E. was jealous and would not let her act without
him. And he beat her as her husband had done, and her health
became undermined. It was just after one of the forced
miscarriages that she joined our traveling company, and that
accounted for her yellow and puffy appearance. E. was now away
up-country with a circus, but was expected down any time. A. told
me a good deal of all this, between her tears, while sitting at
my feet, and her tone carried conviction. When I ought to have
gone home I persuaded her to let me stay all night. We had been
in bed some time when her mother knocked at the door and wanted
to come in for something in a chest of drawers there. "Why don't
you open the door, A.? Who have you got there? Hasn't that fellow
gone?" A. was confused and told me to get under the bed, but I
refused, and she covered me up with the bed clothes as well as
she could and opened the door. She had hid my clothes, but missed
one of my shoes, and her mother saw it. "Oh, A.," was all she
said; "you've got that fellow in bed," and went out crying.
"Well, Fred" (my stage name), "you've got me into a nice row," A.
said. She gave me my breakfast in the morning and I walked out of
the front door without being molested. Another night I entered
her window by a ladder and stayed all night. In the middle of the
night E. came home drunk. She would not let him in and told him
she would have nothing more to do with him. He attempted to break
in the door, when A. called to me, and hearing a man in the room
he went away, saying, as he went downstairs: "Oh, A.! Oh, A.!"
as if he thought she would not have done such a thing. He never
molested us after that night.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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