Marriage -- Fiction; Short stories, English; Wives -- Fiction
But he was spared the onus of decision concerning this delicate point;
for suddenly he felt himself drawn on one side, and there, in the deep
shadow of the wall, his companion threw her arms about him, murmuring,
with a catch in her voice, "I know you don't love me yet,
but--but--David, I'll _make_ you love me," and the face turned up to his
in the half darkness was full of eager yearning.
Feeling a traitor--to himself, to Rosaleen, above all, to the poor soul
now leaning on his breast--Banfield bent and kissed her; then he turned
on his heel, leaving her to make her way as best she could up the trim
path leading to her front door.
Hardly aware of what he was doing, he walked away quickly, taking the
opposite direction to that of the quiet lane of houses which would have
led him straight home. Instead he struck out, instinctively, towards the
flat open country, for he had a fierce, unreasoning desire to be
alone--far away from all humankind. As he strode along, his eyes having
become so fully accustomed to the dim light that he could see every
detail of the white-rutted road gleaming between low hedges, Banfield's
feeling of bewilderment, even of horror, grew and grew, making him feel
physically cold in the warm, scented night.
For the first time there swept over him that awful sense of unavailing
repentance for the word said which might so well have been left unsaid,
which most human beings are fated to feel at some time of their lives.
Not even over his divorce had he felt so desperate a passion of revolt,
for that act, or so he had believed, was forced on him by Rosaleen
herself. But to-night he realised that before doing what he had just
done he had been free--free to remain free--and he now saw with a sense
of impotent anger how deliberately he had given himself into slavery.
As he strode along, eager to escape from the material surroundings of
his surrender, Banfield remembered each word of his talk with his
sister, and so remembering, he was amazed at his own weak folly.
What were the trifling troubles connected with his Irish servant, Mary
Scanlan, compared to those which lay before him?--to the awful knowledge
that he was now the prisoner--henceforth the body and soul prisoner--of
Matilda Wellow? How sluggish had been his imagination when he had
thought of the woman, whose tears had but just now scalded his lips, as
of a kind, unobtrusive lady housekeeper! He was now aware that there was
another Matilda Wellow, of whom till to-night he had been ignorant, and
it was this stranger who was demanding as a right, and indeed had the
right to demand, that tenderness and devotion which he knew himself
incapable of bestowing on any woman except on the elusive, cold-natured
woman who had been his wife.
And then a strange thing happened to David Banfield.
The near image of Matilda Wellow faded, giving place to the distant, and
yet in a spiritual and even physical sense poignantly present,
personality of Rosaleen.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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