It is preposterous to have such feelings, in the first place. They
are wholly the product of false teaching. For we have no right--as we
recognize when we stop to think about it in calmness of spirit, and
apart from our special difficult--to sit in scornful judgment upon
any of the laws of nature. When we find ourselves in rebellion against
them, what we have to do is to change the state of our minds, for
change the laws we cannot. If we women could inaugurate a gigantic
strike against the present method of bearing children--and I imagine
that millions would join such a strike if it held out any promise of
success!--we still could accomplish nothing. To fret ourselves into a
frazzle over it, is to accomplish less than nothing;--it is to enter
upon the pathway to destruction.
In teaching our children, then, we have first to conquer
ourselves--that painful, reiterated, primal necessity, which must
underlie all teaching. Having done so, we shall find our task easier
than we supposed. The children's own questions will lead us; and if we
simply make it a rule never to answer a question falsely no matter how
far it may probe, we shall find ourselves not only enlightening
but receiving enlightenment. For nothing is so sure an antidote to
morbidness as the unspoiled mind of a child. He looks at the facts
with such a calm, level gaze that proportions are restored to us as we
follow his look.
Many of my letters show that adult women, wives and mothers, still
grope for the truth that lies plain to the eyes of any simple
child--the truth that there is no such thing as clean and unclean,
only use and misuse. Others, through love, and the splendid
revelations that it makes, have risen so far above their former
misconceptions that they fear to tell a child the facts before he has
experienced the love. I can imagine that in an ideal world some such
reticence might be good and right--but this is far from an ideal
world. We have to train our children relatively, not absolutely, in
the knowledge that we do not control all their environment. I think
the solution of the difficulty is to teach the facts of sex in a
perfectly calm, unemotional, matter-of-fact manner, just as one
teaches the laws of digestion. When knowledge of evil is thrust upon
our child let us be sorry with him that those other children have
never been taught, and that they are doing their bodies such sad
mischief. But don't exaggerate it; don't be too shocked; don't condemn
the poor little sinners, who are also victims, too severely. Charity
toward wrong-doing is the best prophylactic against imitation. We
never feel the lure of a sin which grieves us in another; but often
the call of a sin which we too strongly condemn. Because the very
strength of the condemnation rouses our imaginations, is in itself an
emotion, and, since it is certainly not a loving one, must necessarily
be linked with all other unloving and therefore evil emotions. As far
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